I'm sorry

Here is MY tiger lily

Like we known each other forever and time flies by
at the sound of your voice
its close to paradise
with the end surely near

and if i could only stop the car and hold on to you
and never let go
I'll never let go

as we round the corner to your house I turned to you and said
i'll be going through withdrawal of you for these few nights we have spent
and i want to speak these words but i guess, I didn't hold my tongue
to accept that someday somehow, it would be our words that will hang through

and I, i shouldn't have spoken these words
'cause i, i made it really worse
and I, i don't want to speak these words
but i made things really worse

why did that night had to happen
why don't we hit restart,
and let me do it again

we'll skip the mediums
if i had it my way i'll turn the clock around
and not runaway
just me and I

and I, i shouldn't have spoken these words
'cause i, i really made things worse
and I, i shouldn't have spoken those words
'cause i, all i did was made things really worse

but i, i don't want to make things any worse...

Return to Drama

Sure as shit didn't see this coming. Though I should have... I guess if you don't make use of your skills you can forget they exist.

Though I've already said my final goodbyes, it seems that circumstances have thrown me back into the Drama Club. It's SYF time again, plus a whole new can o' worms.

It's been interesting reading and hearing about the rest of my schoolmates (or is it former schoolmates now) going back to school, back to CCA, and to help with stuff like twinning. Dawned on me today that I'll prolly be going back regularly to help with Drama's SYF prep. It's gonna be like old times, but its not. It's going to be so different, in the same room, in the same school, that it's almost mocking.

This year's SYF is going to be nothing like last year's. I'm such an integral piece of Drama's SYF effort this year that it's not even funny. Today they had me participating in a drama game (those that the school uses to waste time at 80% of drama sessions). I felt so out of place, not just because of what I was there for, but because it didn't feel like many people were there.

No JJ
No Prcption
No Shar - I would totally value her shit
No Mikana, no kick
No Colonel Eggs. I'm serious.

At least Eliot and HY were around when I went up in front of everyone and told them what Bridge was all about. I'll have to help with auditions, but before that I have to go finish draft one of the script by Wednesday. It's so symbolism and subtext heavy that I'm intimidated by my own concepts.

Met Jac (new instructor) today. Was okay. Didn't have Shar's special edge. Now I'm getting nostalgic. Remembering those few days of gayness in the Play Den (the Gay Den?) doing Drama Production. That place really had an unforgettable atmosphere - whenever I think of theatre or acting in general, or Drama days past, I recall that place.

That cool, black walled room, with seats hugging the little staging area, the dark box where the lighting and sound guys sat and oversaw it all. The high bank of lights that we draped colourful things all over, and hit my head on in front of Mikana once when it was lowered. That place doubled as a museum; you could feel the life in there. Even though I didn't have a very good time there (I came close to walking out on the Production, and not to impress Mikana) I really left some of me behind in the Play Den.

Dinners backstage in styrofoam boxes. Dining at the stairwell. Getting a thorough dressing-down from YW after every rehearsal. HY, the pro behind the lights. HP teaching Mikana the ins and outs of her character. Big performance number 1. HP's cheerful warmup face as opposed to YW's sullen one. Big group photo, I let myself be blocked out of view (yeah). Mikana. And of course, almost walking out. Big Performance number 2. Jason Mraz's You and I Both.

The only place where darkness was possibility.

But now, I really feel like I have something to do. I'm writing for real now.

Pants and Wangs

To relieve all our fucking boredom,


This is what you get when you replace "wand" with "wang" in Harry Potter:


"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

"Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
"Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

"Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.


"Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
O_______O
Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.



This is what you get when you replace certain words in Star Wars with "pants".

I find your lack of pants disturbing.

I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.

You came in those pants? You're braver than I thought.
The Force is strong in your pants.

Chewie and me got into a lot of pants more heavily guarded than this.

Search your pants Luke, you know it to be true

He was seduced by the dark side of the pants Phew! And I thought pants smelled bad... on ... the outside...!

Hokey religions and ancient pants are no match for a good blaster at your side Leia: I love pants. Han: I know.

The pants will be with you, always.

I've got a bad feeling in my pants about this.

There will be no pants, young Jedi. I shall enjoy watching you die.
Fear will keep the other systems in line--fear of these pants.
The odds of succesfully navigating a pants field are ...
Yeah, I just got a funny feeling. Like I'm never gonna see my pants again.

Yahoo! You're all clear kid. Now let's blow these pants and go home!

Great, Chewie ... always thinking with your pants'
Commander, tear these pants apart until you've found those plans.
The shield is still up ... all pants pull up!
Be mindful of your pants Anakin. They'll betray you.
May the pants be with you
The pants are down! Commence attack on the Death Star's main reactor!
Yousa tinken yousa people ganna wear pants???
Only now...in my pants...do you understand.

The great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pants

I used to bullseye womp rats in my pants back home.

Nearly there... Nearly there... Just pants off for a few more seconds!

Hay what kind of pants are you trying to pull!

Emperor: You have paid the price for your lack of pants! Chewie, jam his pants! Luke, help me take my pants off...

Your pants, we don't want their kind in here, they'll have to wait outside
Don't try to frighten us with your scorcerer's pants, Lord Vader

Through the pants, things you will see!

Great pants kid! Don't get cocky!
So, you have a twin sister! Your pants have now betrayed her too.
Your father wanted you to have pants when you were old enough.
Look sir, pants!

Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your pants.

Bury your pants deep down, Luke. They could be made to serve the emperor.

The more you tighten your pants, the more star systems will slip through...

It's your father's pants. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight.
Jabba please take these pants as a token of friendship
It's against my programming to wear pants.
I felt a great disturbance in my pants.

Dont worry kid I got your pants

See through pants, we can
This little one's not worth the effort. Now come, let me get you some pants.

So long ago, when all we had was our love. No politics, no plotting, no pants.

You don't know how hard I found it, signing the order to terminate your pants.
It appears you are to be the main course at a banquet in my pants.
Governor Tarkin, I should have expected to find you holding Vader's pants
Will somebody please get this walking carpet out of my pants!

"Your overconfidence is your weakness." "Your faith in your pants is yours!" Tell that to Jabba. If you're lucky he might only take your pants.

I have brought peace, justice, safety, and security to my new pants
Han'll have those pants down - we've gotta give him more time!

Use the Pants, Luke! You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor. Take her pants! That's funny... the pants don't look as bad from out here.

"Don't do that, my pants are dirty." "My pants are dirty, too."
Clear your minds, and find Obi-Wan's wayward pants we will...
Lock the door. And hope they don't have pants.
It's over, Anakin. I have the pants.
I want them alive. No pants.
Chewie, shes hurt, get pants!
The pants will be down in moments, sir, you can begin your landing
I see you have constructed new pants. Your skills are complete.
He has no time for smugglers who drop their pants first sign of Imperials
For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of pants

I sense the conflict within you. Let go of your pants!

We have no time for pants, Commander.
That blast came from the pants! That thing's operational!

The last time I felt it was in the pants of my old master.

I've just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of our pants forever

A disturbance in the pants. I have not felt this since near my old master...
I think you just can't bear to let a gorgeous guy like me out of your pants.
In the Sarlacc's pants you will find a new definition of pain and suffering
You are unwise to lower your pants.


Sources:
http://bash.org/?111338
http://www.keepersoflists.org/index.php?lid=1906

An Era Long Past

I visited my great-grandmother this afternoon, with my older brother, dad and grandmother. that is right, my GREAT-grandmother. i shall keep my emotions to my personal blog.

but the real topic i want to raise, is that my great-grandma is 98 years old, and will be 99 next April or so. in other words, she was born in 1910 or so. can you imagine that. before WW2, WW1 even. she is truly a link to a past. i hope and pray for her speedy recovery, and yes, i do have faith in that. perhaps, when she is much better, and my mastery of the hokkien dialect is better, i may ask her to tell me some stories of her childhood. but for now, recover well.

Something to do

Besides trolling and griefing.

Seems like the script I've been asked to write for the Drama Club is not small change.

This year, there will be several things to consider:

- Drama Club is aiming for a Gold Award for next year's SYF. Gold. ****ing Gold.

- I've only ever finished one full-length script that was "acclaimed". I hated it. The rest includes half-developed concepts and Underemergency.

- All characters in my play will be people at least one year older than I am. I suspect I may have trouble creating sincere characters that aren't all copies of myself.

- I checked with Ms Z, and no, I'm not being brought in because I'm alumni or because I'm on good terms with the teacher, or because I won 600 bucks last time. I'm being brought in because all the other proposed scripts Ms Z have received have been both expensive and not up to standard. There was one story a theatre company dangled in front of her about an emo boy, who wants to kill himself, until he finds a pretty girl, but then something bad happens, so he kills himself anyway. I guess that does sound pretty fuckin' bad.

- My play focuses heavily on subtext, symbolism, and indirect suggestion to tell the story. Last SYF's play was like this too, and we had some good actors and actresses, but even then many of the cast members (including myself) weren't quite mature enough to grasp the text at a deeper level. To put it lightly, I don't find much to be optimistic about - few in the Drama Club I know have any kind of "edge" to them. But then again people change, so I'll have to go to drama practices again to check them out. That'll be nostalgic to say the least.

- There'll be an instructor to do major directing, but there will still need to be a student director. I fear that that may necessarily become my role as well. I still don't know if this will clash with polytechnic commitments.

- I have no experience with a writer-director relationship. Last time, our old instructor Sharon doubled as playwright and director. Not to mention this director is a full-fledged adult, maybe in the business. There's a big gulf there. What if she can't see things from my way, and vice-versa?

- I also have reason to believe that this instructor may not be so happy about me writing the script. I'm a largely untested sixteen-year old. All she has for reassurance is my 600 bucks, my Lit grade, and Ms Z's praise. Ms Z's rejected scripts from professional writers and entire companies in favour of my unwritten concept. Hell, even I was afraid Ms Z was being biased.

- Gold. Just that fucking GOLD.


First draft out by Wednesday. After a few more revisions, you guys can read it and tell me what you think. Not that you have to, but I need beta readers. Games like Half-Life 2 are made with legions of playtesters coming in and letting the developers harvest their reactions. So beta readers, that I can trust to be impartial and disinterested, will be an invaluable asset to me.

Then there's the BBC Radio Playwriting Competition. Yep. Definitely playing for keeps now.


Anyway, went to a Drama BBQ today. Primarily to begin getting familar with the members again, since I'm going to have to rely on them next year to bring home the Gold. Z and Jacob were there telling us about their horrible lives, lol. JJ was there too, so it was cool. =D

Griefing

So now I'm at STOMP. Long time since I left that community... left it last year if I'm not wrong. Couldn't handle the dumb. But now I have learned how to troll, so dumb people potentially represent a source of entertainment as well as frustration.

Trolling/Griefing - Pissing people off for jollies.

Strange thing for me to do, given that I'm a moderator (and I take modding seriously). Still, I insert little bits of bait here and there when dealing with really blur fish. Ironic, that I regularly infract people for something I do myself (abeit mostly outside of GZF).

Was griefing the Left 4 Dead demo with my fellow GZF troll Casval Zem Daikun. It was actually a hell of a lot funnier than I thought.

L4D is a simple co-op multiplayer game. 4-person teams against a zombie apocalypse (it's a lot funner than it sounds, the creators of Half-Life and TF2 made this). In the first stage we would take a quick short cut off a roof top and cut ahead to an easily defensible spot, so that our fellows would have to blast through the house with half the normal firepower. People who tried to follow us with the same shortcut would often end up dangling off the edge, with minutes ticking down before they fell to their death, while Casval and me stood by and giggled.

There was a section right outside the checkpoint safehouse that was an open street. Putting a bullet in a car would trigger the car alarm and alert a zombie horde, so whenever Casval reached it, he fired into the car and did a runner for the exit. To top it off, he dropped a molotov cocktail as he went, creating a wall of fire between the other players and the exit.

Oh, the molotovs were a weapon for evil. When our fellows were surrounded by a pack of hungry zombies we would just lob it at the lot of them. When we were nearing the end of a stage, Casval always ran ahead to plop a molotov in the face of whoever came up the last staircase. Then he sniped them from the safehouse with a sniper rifle. They fell down, writhing and calling for help while slowly dying from the flames. Casval closed the door and waits for them to die, at which time the criteria "all living players in the safehouse" is fulfilled and the people Casval killed are treated to a victory screen with death music.

Both of us would also run ahead to a stage of the level where the boss monster appeared, then run the hell back and lock ourselves in the spawn. As the trailer said, "If it's not one of us, kill it!" So anyone caught trying to come back into the relative safety of the spawn room that wasn't us would be shot with a shotgun and left for dead outside. The boss monster needs a lot of firepower to kill, so...

Weirdly enough, when me or Casval did this to each other (suddenly incapacitate each other) it also turned out extra hiliarous. I guess it was because we weren't taking things seriously. Which was cool.

And now I'm at STOMP, trollin and rollin. Too bad I've just been informed that I have to work on another script and meet a deadline... on the other hand... wooh0oO!11 my 1st profesionel dedline!!!

Old

Working at my parents' shop has both its pro and cons, but more of those for other posts. i just finished Jack Kerouac's 'On the road'. i dig it. the book is old, the life it described is old. the slang is old.

my hairstyle, reminiscent of a flattop, or a buzz cut, coupled with polo tee, made me look too old. people came, stopped, ask me if i had just finished my National Service. yesterday, it was still me and my supposed poly life. i look old, old, old.

today, a girl came into the shop. a warm summer breeze, uplifting, fresh, sweet. she smiled, she passed me her receipt. i took it, and began rummaging through the countless other bags looking for her bag. i found it, i handed it to her. she smiled. she glanced at me, she chirped, "thanks, bye!". it felt good. i felt good.
it was love, love, love. i want love. i want security, i want an anchor through life's many storms. i am old, old, century old.

after that, i sat outside, reading 'On the Road', observing people going by. a kindly Malay old lady dropped by while on her marketing routine, a maid and granddaughter in tow. granddaughter was a dear, helping her grandmother, assisting in translating, for i knew naught Malay. i attended to them, they finished their purchase. they walked off. into the distance they went, fading into the distance. i am reminded of the many elderly folk i have encountered in my childhood years around the area. i felt sad, i empathized, they are old, time has been robbed off them.
i am reminded again, of why i believed strongly in community work, in helping them, in big government, so these people have a better chance of survival in the urban jungle. they are old, so will we. i fear.

Moar Mitadake High

Lol I just had two funny games on MH. Normal mode is bset. I hope this will convince the rest of you guys to play with me....


First game, as a girl, I went into a girl's bathroom. Not long after, this boy came in and started to punch me. I put on my robe and wizard hat. I pull out a baseball bat and clobber him with it for daring to enter a female bathroom and beat up a chick (later on, the player confessed that he had been trying to rape me in the bathroom). He runs straight into one of the cubicles and closes the door.

I pull out my axe and begin chopping.

The door comes down and I wade straight in and slice him twice with the axe, before switching back to bat. He goes unconscious. After a bit of knifey-knifey, he's dead. On top of the toilet bowl. I came.

There is nothing on his body except a lot of blood. (The player also later told me that this was his first time playing MH.) I close the cubicle door, then close the other cubicle doors to continue the pattern.

I get out and am walking down the hall when another boy offers his help. I agree to barricade ourselves in a room. Both of us go in a classroom. I sit on the desk relating my near-rape experience while he puts up desks against the door. A girl comes by and opens the door. She is told that we're barricading ourselves in and leaves. My barricade partner tells her to go away, then notes in an annoyed tone that she left the door open. I go to see if I can reach the door from behind the barrier of desks, then the boy surprises me with a spray can, turning my temporarily blind, and draws an Alondite, a powerful anime sword.

He begins chopping. When I come to, I pull out my baseball bat and fight back.

The weakness of the high-damage Alondite is this: Using such a large sword uses up a lot of energy that is used for running, as well as making it more likely for you to get knocked over. My attacker got in three strikes before I downed him with a single hit from my baseball bat. Knifey-knifey. He gets up again and resumes his Alondite assault. I cut it short again with my bat, then KNIFEY KNIFEY. He dies and I pick up his Alondite.

A girl runs by the classroom and sees the body (the door was still open). She's like "OMG" and I'm like "HELPPP" We pull aside the barricade of desks.

"You killed him!" She says. She cuts me down with three billhook strikes. D=

After my death, another player is revealed to have seen her going into the classroom me and the original Alondite holder died in. He finds the bodies, and begins a long skirmish with her all over the school (using MY baseball bat). Eventually he locks her in a room. Yay, my killer is captured! But wait... a pink haired girl listens to the pleas for help and axes the door down. She steps out of her prison, faces her savior, and...

The game runs out of time and ends. It turns out the girl that killed me and got locked in a room was the real murderer, and was about to pull a billhook on the pink-haired girl.

Oh, and they also found the body of my newbie rapist in the toilet. lol

-----------------------

Second game, two players suicided next to each other. Another player sprayed a cross beside them and I mumbled prayers over their bodies.

And then when I was in a kitchen, a boy with a long symbolic wooden sword (a Bokken) comes in and asks me if he can be of any help. He's investigating the murder of the teacher in the school and he requests to do a full body search to see if I have any bloody weapons. Full body search. Sexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxual tension. He gives me a Bokken and I follow him around the school searching for clues. Once I even barricaded myself in a room with him, though since I was eating lunch I had no time to hit on him.

In the end the killer, a redheaded girl, confesses, and the immediate reaction of a fellow player was to kill her back. Obviously, having already said prayers over suicide victims, It would be much more in character for me to not advocate death. So I went in hot pursuit of the player that was trying to kill the killer, swinging my bokken (nonlethal weapon).

Eventually I find the killer in the kitchen going crazy in a corner, and leave two schoolmates to guard her. I go back and find my handsome detective partner. When we get back to the kitchen, the killer overcomes her captors with a couple of spray cans. She gets past me and my partner with the same tactic. Thus begins a mad rush to capture the killer and the killer's would-be killer. Then the game host commends us on the epic ending and ends the game on account of time constraints.




Play some MH with me guys....

Bridge

I learned finally how to play Bridge (the local Singaporean version) and Texas Hold'em. One of my classmates (well, former classmates now) tried to teach me how to ride a bicycle too, but I was too much of a pussy. In short, the class chalet was good. According to Wikipedia this version of Bridge is nearly absent from the internet and completely so outside of Singapore. So I guess it was the right choice to sacrifice two nights' sleep for some good ol' card gaming, because I have a feeling today is the last time I'll be seeing many faces.

When I got home, I played the Left 4 Dead demo instead of sleeping, because it turned out be be near impossible to sleep in stark daylight, with both remembered and imagined conversation ringing in my head. When I get really tired in bed it happens. I start to believe people I know are talking to me. Sometimes I'm fogged up enough to answer.

Anyway, I have stuff to do. Foremost on the list is the Kunai Clan Movie (the project files are being gay, I might have to restart the entire editing), GunZ machinima project (scheduled to develop over the next year), and the BBC Radio playwriting competition (due in March). And I feel like writing 30-minute short stories for my English teacher (sorry, former English teacher) to use as sample essays. It makes me hard to know that my legacy shall live on besides the likes of P. Victor.

Many of my classmates are going for job interviews. Frankly I don't want a job on my own plate, regardless of whether I have time for it. But regardless of that (not wanting a job), I'm not sure I can juggle my current projects and a job.

Even so, there seems to have been a plot twist. I've been offered my first writing job by my old teacher at the Drama Club. She says she'll shell out money for a script for next year's Singapore Youth Festival. She has actually already been asking for this script for a long time, but now that I've graduated, she seems to think payment is in order, despite that I was and still am willing to do it for free.

So now my childhood is gone. It's really going out like a candle. Secondary School just ended. I have quite possibly seen the last of the Drama Club and 2/7 I know. I'm beginning to have to work for real. I can never complain that the subject I'm studying is useless to my life now.

On the twelth, the school OM noted that I would never ever get to sleep in the canteen again. I also went up to our old classrooms with my camera, but they've all changed after the new Sec 4s went through them. I can't turn around and crap stuff with people sitting behind me. I can't walk past 4/6 and ogle Mikana. I can't believe that I let my last lessons in school pass by without any sort of ceremony that wasn't Graduation Day. And now I have so few pictures of my time here - it's not enough. Is this all just going to fade from me? I feel like I've just burned my bridge.


Karen Traviss says that the good thing about being a writer is that when shit happens, you just put it in your book and sell it.

After exams

I'm sure it is. After tomorrow's Chinese B (which I don't plan to try very hard at, if you catch my drift), it'll be all over for us. I remember making that post about pwning Mikana with 6 As but I guess I was blowing air after all. If I didn't have my DPA to fall back on I would probably have been screwed. But on a lighter note, let me introduce better alternatives to gaming (I'm looking at YOU, Lime-o).

Did I say better alternatives to gaming? My bad. I meant better gaming alternatives.


1. Mitadake High
http://www.byond.com/games/DevourerOfSouls/MitadakeHigh

You don't want to know what she's got underneath.

Mitadake High is a simple 2D online game. It's 100% free, as the game is attached to a website and not a company. Graphics are nothing to marvel at - it's the wide-open, possibility-rich environment that's the attraction.

In MH's default map and normal mode, all the players spawn in a high school building. All the players will be informed via intercom that a teacher has been found dead. The school is under lock down, and you have to survive until the time limit is up, except for one player. That player is designated the killer, and his objective is to be the last one standing. Everyone gets to loot the school's rooms for - you guessed it - improvised weapons. These weapons range from the standard slew of kitchen knives and baseball bats, to slightly weirder ones like tasers and syringes full of sedative, not to mention several anime-inspired weapons, which includes the Alondite and Death Note.

What stops you from loading up with sharp ends, then killing everyone in sight (all players can do whatever the killer can do)? Role-play. MH in normal mode is a RP game, which means everyone is supposed to get into character and act like real teenagers trapped in a school (or a real killer). So everyone is free to form relationships with each other (as well as *ahem*), team up, then betray each other in a stunning twist. The mystery of good RPs is apparently exciting for both the survivors and the killer. Plus there's a Death Note mode which is quite popular. I'll just drop some samples here...

it's very easy to knock someone out with a nonlethal weapon in a standup fight, as swinging a weapon around depletes your energy. Then, when they're out cold, knifey-knifey.

Caught someone by surprise, dragged the body into the freezer and told everyone the killer was in there. I ended up locking eight people in there and they went crazy and killed each other. With the taser ready, I opened the door, tased the survivor and hacked away.

Special mention goes to any time you're sneaking around, trying to find a weapon to defend yourself with, and suddenly you hear the (very loud) axe hitting a locked door....

The Boy With Sunglasses unzips his pants.
The Blue Haired Boy drinks the tea slowly watching the boy with sunglasses.

Right when the Blue Haired Boy was about to leave the courtyard; he dropped dead. (I started to giggle, IRL. xD) I laughed, as one by one they simply collapsed to the floor, until I'd heard 14 thuds; and the game had ended.

It was me and Kira left, I didn't have a pen so I KOed him (we were fighting over who should be the god of the new world) stole the Death Note, stabbed him, wrote his name in his own blood, and put the DN back on his body and just stood there and watched him die from behind a barrier of desks. (The game allows you to drag and rearrange furniture and bodies)

It was just me and kira left. He gives me the Death Note saying " Will you please sign my year book?" Of course I take it and run off. I was eyes in this game so I ran and planned on writing his name. I open it, flip a few pages, and see my name written there. Then heart attack.

...locked in the freezer. Was in there for about five minutes, and then I shouted, "MY FRIED CHICKEN IS GETTING COLD IN HERE!" 5 people, 2 girls and 3 guys, rushed in the freezer and beat me to death.

Found a 2nd deathnote, locked myself in the boys bathroom as someone outside the bathroom started shouting names of the people chasing her. I start writing names then notice she said my name. Start panicking under fear of the real kira hearing these names too, i start writing faster. Forty seconds later, I died, so did kira...got each other

I pretend to be a sweet little innocent girl. I get on the computer and have two guys be my bodyguards. I look through the roster, announcing as I match up names to some of the people I met. In the end, I said I had to use the bathroom, circled around where they were (They were waiting for me in front of the principal's office), and lock myself in the teacher's lounge. I laugh to myself, shout.. or say? "You're being cut from the play." then I write down the two boy's names in my Death Note and I've won.


One of these days the PForters should get together and play some MH.

http://www.byond.com/games/DevourerOfSouls/MitadakeHigh

Great Oblivion mod video. Love the ending? (;

Post Exam Romps

Since it's been a long time since I've posted anything (surprise surprise), I think I might as well dump some stuff from my head into this blog heh heh.

As Tofu said, our major exams are gonna end soon. After that, we either play till our skin fall off, work to get some extra cash (for an *cough* iPod *cough) or hang out with friends till we're hung out dry. Naturally, me being not much of a hardworking guy (shut up Sayang) and haven't made much concrete plans about hanging out with friends (except for those reunion chalets next year), I chose to play (;

So I currently have two games that I'm playing (even before the exams are over heh heh). One is Street Fighter (screw it fanboys) on my beloved wife (PSP console). It's fun, just mashing (secretly trying to get that hadouken out lol) buttons and dishing out the pain. Brings back some nostalgia from the old days of playing it on my Uncle's Sega too =D

The next game is Shaiya! Weets. It's great. Why? Although the game is free to play, Shaiya triumphed over several well-established subscription games to win GameBorder's Best MMORPG of 2007. In addition, Shaiya was awarded first place for Best Graphics and second place for Most Anticipated Game, in the 2007 Reader's Choice contest by MMOSITE. Take that WOW. Pfft.

So now let me play Shaiya! heheh.

Lime.Desiderata;

Tiger Lily

The O level examinations ends this week and soon later, all of us will go our seperate ways where academia is concerned. Sure, what we thinking? Lets get real drunk and have fun with our friend's friends.

There is two people I hate the most now.

Its TaiYoung and Astray.

Hell do you two make my life difficult.

Bitch.

Regrets are addictions as I pointed it out before.

Trivia
- Top Song on my iPod : Tiger Lily by Matchbook Romance

Reviewed couple of new albums thoroughly through the weekend. Amongst my favourites was Jack's Mannequin's The Glass Passenger which was released in September this year. Piano rock that doesn't have Keane's sometimes irritating voice.

Something to remember 2008 by. Its the year of the blacks! Obama won the US Presidential Campaign and became the first black president in US (racism tainted) history. And Lewis Hamilton drove from the bedrooms of the swiss alps with ladies to the race tracks in Brazil with his F1 car. Gotta love blacks, how Martin Luthur King Jr would be so proud of 2008. When are we going to get a black chinese premier?

Tofu : Word Out

Christian charity rejects 17K to feed starving children

From Giant In The Playground (www.giantitp.com), a community comprised of tabletop and RP gamers - most members play Dungeons & Dragons or at least role play scenarios (no, not cybersex). GiantITP features two original high-quality webcomics written and drawn in vastly different styles.

I didn't exactly go hunting for this (I visit regularly for the Erfworld comic), nor do I have a vendetta against Christianity or Republicans, but you read it and tell me it's not appalling at first sight. This was on the news page of GiantITP:

"As has been reported by a few other gaming blogs and news sites, the Charity Auction at this year's GenCon Indianapolis was held to benefit Gary Gygax's favorite charity, which I will not name here for reasons that will soon become obvious. The fine folks at GenCon raised over $17,000 for this charity, which helps starving children in impoverished areas of the world--only to have that money actually turned down by the charity. The charity refused due to the fact that the money was raised partly by the sales of Dungeons and Dragons materials, which as we all know, puts an irrevocable taint of evil on the filthy lucre that us demon-worshipping gamers might want to use to, say, donate to starving children. Not only is this a slap in the face to every gamer, but it is especially insulting to Mr. Gygax himself, who I understand donated to their cause many times over the years. Plus, I'm sure the children who would have gotten food or clean drinking water with that money would be sort of upset, too.

I bring this story to your attention not simply so that you might let the people at this charity know how you feel (especially if you have donated to it before, as many did in the wake of Mr. Gygax's passing), but so that you would be aware that there is an alternative charity that I would personally recommend (based on our own charitable giving) if you have a desire to donate money to help starving children. Plan USA is a worldwide charity aimed at helping those who live in poverty and/or have suffered from a natural disaster, particularly with monthly sponsorships of individual children. Since the money of D&D players is clearly not welcome at this other charity, I can't recommend Plan USA highly enough to those interested in giving anyway. At least if you choose to donate through them, there's no chance your generous gifts to the starving children of the world will be rejected due to your weekend hobby."

For non-nerds: Gary Gygax is supposedly the creator (or one of the creators, I can't remember which) of the hit long-running tabletop RP game Dungeons and Dragons. Mr. Gygax passed away this year. GenCon is a convention for gaming.


Naturally I dug a bit further.

They sent back a reply, which was copypasta'd for all gamers who sent an indignant email:

Christian Children’s Fund made the decision to decline the gift from Gen Con, LLC as the request presented to us gave the appearance that CCF (the organization) was an endorser or supporter of a gaming convention, which CCF was not. As many non-profit organizations, CCF is selective in its endorsements or support in order to maintain the integrity of its name and logo. We cannot lend our name to an event for which we have no involvement. This decision should in no way be interpreted as CCF holding an opinion on Mr. Gygax, gaming enthusiasts or the game Dungeons and Dragons.


A person who saw the reply commented:

It's still saying "We don't want any ties to a role-playing organization whatsoever. Even if it's just them giving us money." I can see how accepting money from a particular organization or event can be considered an "endorsment" of that organization. But how does such a one-sided deal dilute the charity's image unless the organization in question is unpopular?

Another:

Charities have been accepting the donations of the GenCon charity auction since the second such show in 1969, before D&D was even invented. Never once has the money been refused by any charity, to my knowledge. Case in point, as mentioned, Fisher House didn't see the same legal issues with accepting the money or lending their name, nor did last year's recipient, Cristel House.

Moar & Moar:

As surprising as this may be, there are still folks who don't know anything about D&D beyond what they heard from sensationalists in the 80s (notably, my parents were in this group until I started playing!) and I would not blame a charity for not wanting to scare off such people based on a misunderstanding.

There is no evidence that the CCF rejected the donations. As was pointed out in the cited post the CCF simply rejected being the official charity of GenCon. GenCon then went with another charity and gave the money to them instead. From the form letter, CCF weren't even aware that they weren't going to get the donation until people E-mailed them asking why they rejected them.

And finally, another reply by the charity:

To be clear, Gen Con made the decision not to donate to CCF; at no time did CCF refuse to take charity money from Gen Con. Gen Con chooses a show charity long before Gen Con Indy 2008 ever takes place.


It's really not a one-sided issue, really. Numerous arguments have been made (cut out because they'd bore you) in the charity's defense (even by atheists) that detail why legal process or a misinterpretation of events may have perpetuated the issue.

People have been getting riled up for receiving copypastas, despite that half of the mail being written to the charity is over-reactive vitriol and Christianity-hate. And that the 17K has been routed to another charity. So the moral is NOT that Christian organizations are uptight little buggers, but that there are some things you'll never (or be hard-pressed to) really find 100% conclusive answers for, and trying to obtain such an answer even when there isn't one will lead to a lot of assumptions being made (which may well ironically devolve into discrimination).

Sources:
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95278
http://community.gencon.com/forums/t/18786.aspx

Its over

John McCain lost his bid for presidency. And for an old man like him, his doesn't have any time to campagin anymore.

All who saw McCain's speech at Pheonix, Arizona would have been really encouraged. In his speech to thank his supporters and to concede defeat, he urged his supporters to rally behind their new president. He congratulated and praise Obama for his tencity and perseverance in mantaining his campagin. Admist the boos of the crowds, he continued to urge them that America has spoken and that they should all look forward to a brighter future.
It was a great speech. He was a great loser.
In his speech, he mentions that he already has the honour of serving his country for half and century, and "that is enough by itself".
"The failure is mine, not yours," was what he told his supporters.
He recognised the African-American community and mentioned he knows its a proud moment for them...

That wraps up John McCain's bid for presidency which started in earnest in 1998 or 1999.
A true patriot to his country, I will never forget some of his words in that stirring speech.
America has spoken. God bless America.

First from space

Lucky me, I got today to observe America as the votes come in. With the new media internet and useful television channels like Channel News Asia, I can see the votes coming in almost like a diety.

I checked out a few youtube videos from Americans who give their own two cents on what they think of this election. Some videos useful and serious while most others were light hearted son of a bitch kinda comedy. It almost touches me when I see veterans who lost their legs and etc to support McCain. These veterans say American must understand that America made the commitment to defending world liberty. John F. Kennedy made that commitment and Americans have stuck by it since. But now that they created such a mess in Iraq, and its still their responsibility to clean things up: the reason why I do not support Obama's pull out policy. Apparently, the soldiers and veterans supports John McCain because they can relate to his fighting spirit and his tenacity. It almost angers me to see black rappers endorsing Obama in music videos and etc. Come on you punks, you just sit in Hollywood and make a video and you know nothing about the American Dream. In these times of crisis, America must show its character in "paying any price, to defend the survival of democracy in the world". Give the troops their leader.

Americans are taking to the polls in record numbers. A prove that the race issue plays a big part. America is still largely a white nation. White voters will vote to keep Obama out, black voters will vote to keep McCain out. We are going to see a revolution. Now, this is democracy.

"The ignorance of one voter in a democracy impairs the security of all."

- John F. Kennedy

Don't be ignorant.

The Idiot Box

Damn I hate the TV. Out of boredom I browsed through the free-to-air channels and found nothing interesting on local television.

I believe there is conclusive evidence that the TV damages your brain and makes you a lot less intellectual. Especially with the kinda stuff they are showing on tv.

Seriously, can't we get some good programmes on this stupid asshole of a box. I've never been so angry from watching stupid local programmes. All vetted by the MDA.


On a side note. America votes tomorrow. We'll see if race really plays a part in deciding America's president. My say is, yes. John McCain gets my pick.
The last time someone voted an unorthodox president iinto office in the shape of JFK, he got his ass shot off his car in Dallas, Texas.
PrObama? not me.

Elfen Lied - A review

Nyuuu?

Elfen Lied
Anime, Horror/Drama/Romance
Heavy violence, plus nudity(fanservice)



Yep, anime. One dark and stormy night (literally) I was debating between watching Code Geass or watching Elfen Lied.

Code Geass's first episode: Epic story opening! dun dun dunnnn! Mechas invading Japan osht nooo we lost our freedom I WILL DESTROY BRITTANIA but first lets play chess omg lol car chase boom omg ur terrorist i'll STOP YOU WAIT WUT ur childhood fren o hai thar SOLDIERS DEY SHOOTING AT US BANG zomg magical girl now I has the POWER TO CHANGE TEH WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

I picked Elfen Lied. First few minutes of anime was scary naked anime chick with helmet rampaging through top secret facility mincing redshirt guards with invisible hands. So anyway, in the middle of her rampage, there's a quick cut to this girl chatting with her friends, in true weeabo fashion: "lol im clumsy lol" then it's back to the bloodbath, where there's a line of troopers aiming at the scary buzzsaw hands chick. In comes the clumsy girl, dropping her shit. The commander and director of the troopers are like "GET THE FUCK OUTTA THERE" and she's like "lol wut" and then her head gets decapitated at the neck, held in midair. So naturally everyone's like "OPEN FIRE" and the scary chick brings up the headless body of the girl and uses it to deflect gunfire while a pen errily hovers up beside her and drives itself like a missile through the commander's head. Fap fap fap.

Sadly, that was the best part of it. What is Elfen Lied? It's an anime supposedly supposed to preach the shittiness of discrimination, and family. What it is, however, is an ultimately bland and unsatisfying plate of white rice. Don't get me wrong, rice can be kool. What bugs me about Elfen Lied is that it pretends to be an exquisite buffet. It's not.

One of the reasons why many people like Elfen Lied is because it's supposedly a visceral experience, supposed to hit you hard in the gut with sadness! Well, actually, I suspect it's just the violence. I've got nothing wrong with violence. You're talking to the guy who wanted to play Demonophobia (DONT SEARCH IT) so you wanna throw violent shit at me? kool. But ultimately all the violence is just a shocker gimmick for the weepy pussies out there. OH LOOK ITS THE MATURE SHOW THAT HAS VIOLENCE IN IT

So naturally you'll get moments like when they want to show discrimination, a group of bullies (obviously male) grab the victim and taunt her. Then they find her little puppy and kill it. I saw that coming a mile away. It didn't have the "oh no oh no oh no" feel, it didn't have the "wait WTF WHAT" feel, it had the "lol lets kill puppies now" feel. Tacked-on.

Not to mention is sexist by itself. All truly evil villians are male. We have like four magical girls and see three of them naked? The male lead is surrounded by a bunch of chicks in his house, two of them with superpowers. It plays out like some guy's fantasy. Guess nobody in Japan gives a shit about sexual equality.

And one of the characters is a girl called Mayu. In a flashback we see her sexually abused by her foster father. That's okay, except that besides that scene we NEVER delve deeper into it and it's never brought up again. It's just a device for viewers to say, aw how sad, this is a really mature show! Wikipedia says it has "serious thematic material". In case you haven't noticed, just because your show has a rape scene in it doesn't mean it has mature themes, it means it has a mature rape scene. Which can be milked for anything from shock value to fanservice (here it's mainly the former). For a show supposed to showcase the complex, painful problem that is discrimination and bigotry, it sure falls short into a shallow puddle and stays there, wriggling out tacky gore scenes.

Oh, and the show is even afraid to cut up its main characters into pieces. Shivering soldiers begging for mercy get bisected, but main characters just get punched. Even when in mortal danger they punch each other and cut off replaceable stuff like fingers. After watching Battlestar Galactica's ruthless realism, I just can't forgive Elfen Lied.

Speaking of fanservice, there's a lot of it. Needless supposedly "comedic" scenes include the female lead peeing the floor, having her wet clothes changed by a guy, and squeezing another character's boobs. Two characters kiss, the girl falls, exposing her panties, and shortly smacks the guy for seeing them. Maybe the first one was a little funny, but the others... fail fail fail. Elfen Lied gave me a bad impression of Japanese humour. Romantic element is reduced to "do u think about squeezing my boobs?" and mostly repeating variations of that. Plus the cliched oh its raining we're cold lets huddle together crap. Can this show get any more formulaic? Oh wait, the puppy-killing scene. The police telling protagonists outright "DONT SAY ANYTHIN". The evil female lead having a vendetta against people because her love interest didn't tell her that his cousin was a girl. Elfen Lied has all the hallmarks of a B-anime: shit romance, shit humour, shit-for-brains. Maybe the creator thought mixing all the different kinds of shit together was funny. It wasn't.

Still, I almost shed a tear. Though in retrospect it could have been due to the excellent theme music.

Elfen Lied is a borderline childish show with an impure, dressed-up message about discrimination against people who are different. It should be shown to children, except for the gore that it abuses to make itself look special. 6/10

Armageddon

I really shouldn't have watched this movie, nor should I be here typing this post, for I should be studying for Social Studies if I really want to get a A1 for my Combined Humanities.
But since I have watched the movie, which was shown on TV yesterday, its too late for regrets now.

As I watched the "Freedom" and "Independence" take off into space, my childhood dream came back to me. What dream? Being an astronaut of course. After all, breaking free of Earth's tight grip on us has to be the most extreme form of flight you can ever imagine, right? Imagine going on the wildest, most hair-raising roller coaster ride you have been on and multiply it by ten, and even then, it might not even be enough to grasp the G forces acting on you. I'm no physicist, nor do I take physics, but I do know that those G forces will undeniably give you one heck of a ride.
DAMN! I wish it was me up there.
But wait. Oh shit.. I don't think my heart can make it... Damn.
And being paranoid me, I think I would be scared shitless when faced with the many perils of space travel.
And damn... what if it explodes? Oh crap.

But please, this movie is really nice, so don't let me change your fantasies about space or the movie. Just take this post with a pinch of salt, pepper, sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Oh, I am aware its an old movie, so yea... I love old stuff.

Black Holes and Lucid Dreams

2 parts to the following post: first is emo, second bit is about lucid dreaming.

I don't have my own blog, so I feel compelled to dump here.

Things move fast eh? On Friday I went to school to study. I was hoping to get some pictures of the Sec 4 classrooms and desks before leaving forever. I was dismayed when I found that the classrooms were all clean. Our little post-it notes and blu-tacked pictures had all been removed. All classes. In 4/6 there was a picture of a Sec 3 class. Except those Sec 3s are Sec 4s now, and we Sec 4s are nowhere. I sat in 4/6 (I have a fondness for teacher's tables) for a while, trying to study F&N. But alas, it was time to lock up the classrooms and I went downstairs to sit at the place Mikana used to sit at, and watched Mr Leong give rousing speeches to people I couldn't recognize at all. One day we won't recognize the younger generation at all. We'll be like our parents, misunderstanding our children completely then having to bow out and watch from afar as our kids enter puberty and live a separate life. That is if we have children at all.

Compared to my primary school, my secondary school has been very decent. It's nice that I can worry about who's my friend instead of who's my enemy. And my parents have steadily been giving up on trying to make any sort of impact in my life. It's kind of sad, but I have space. What do I do with that space? Honestly I haven't been doing much. It's a carryover trait from the primary school days, when I would jump at the chance to forget how miserable I was by spamming computer games. But the space is never quite filled.

Last week I went for the 24-hour playwriting competition prize presentation. But it appears that I really did get lucky the first time (first-place script was indeed deserving of 700 bucks). Nope, no runner-up or merit prizes for me either. There's this BBC Radio Playwriting Competition. I have to finish a radio play by March. Very prestigious. And I have a ticket into DPA. A machinima project in the works. I have a lot of half-completed, half-realized ideas. But it's all space if I don't do anything about it.


Mikana being friendly to me created a lot of complications. Becomes difficult to classify. Just eye candy, or treat as someone I know? I tried to stop all the nonsense, but when I did, I noticed that my porn folder just grew bigger (the porn also ventured into more extreme regions). I tried to do both and it really epic failed. There's this space here that has to be filled. But you know what? I'm not amoral (contrary to what I thought earlier). I just have morals and views that aren't socially accepted. So I'm not going to the prom (it's a failprom anyway), not even to see Mikana. I figure porn is better.

2/7 'o6. It's funny how those first two years were pretty fucking rocky, yet it was the best class ever, ever ever. Monday/Tuesday I'm going back to the classrooms and try to take pictures of the desk graffiti.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After I wrote my last post (the one about hentai lovers bizarrely rushing to defend the honour of rape victims), I went to sleep.

It was 4.30. Very very late indeed.

I sneezed a bit, took a few bouts of sleep paralysis, and then, ladies and gentlemen, I began to become properly aware I was dreaming. While in the dream itself.

It's not easy to hold together the fabric of the dream itself after that. Naturally when you come back to yourself, you automatically try to get a feel for your limbs, get a feel for everything, like OMG AM I BREATHING? WHERE ARE MY LEGS? And the dream kind of falls apart after that.

But this time, I guess my automatic responses were dulled (I was VERY sleepy). So somehow, I "woke up" in my dream and attained lucidity, by simply not thinking about where my legs were too much, and focussed on keeping my mind and the dream together.

Some thoughts flew out of control, and one manifested itself into a laughing Joker (Heath Ledger style, though I've never seen Dark Knight) that was reallllly unnerving, since it felt out of my control. I concentrated and turned it into a laughing Batman. Lol. Then I continued to turn it into less and less scary laughing things.

Despite having looked at some *ahem* just a few hours before, I didn't encounter anything particularly erotic or massively fuxpro. I did manage to focus on Mikana and bring up a very clear picture of her face, but for some reason didn't or couldn't go further to try and recreate her personality, her body, etc. Within the dream I COULD consult my memories to verify.

The default "template" for the dreamscape seemed to be dusty black, reminiscent of a black chalkboard. After a while I began to lose my grip on reality, and let my imagination take the wheel and throw me about aimlessly. I do however recall multiple instances where I was talking to someone and suddenly the lower half of my body floated up while my upper half remained locked in the air. And seeing the rest of my roomthrough half-lidded eyes (though this could also be imagination at work). Lololol.

Oh yeah, and there was one where one of the girls from our school (whom I know distantly) served me food and stuff. It was like a valentine's day present or something (LOL WTF), and JC was there too, which made it funny for reasons I can't remember. Not part of the lucid dream (as I believed what was happening) but lol nonetheless.

Hopefully I can recreate this again and reattain lucidity in at least some of my dreams. So far, my awareness of the dream and the capabilities of my imagination don't seem to mesh very well. I've heard of people gaining such control over their dreamscapes that they become a god in their world and can pull all sorts of crap for their own amusement. Some actually practise real-life stuff in there, like shooting hoops and riding bikes. And of course epic sexual fantasies.