Best of Web Fiction: INSTRUCTION FOR A HELP

Cropped for spoilers. Check out the date, though.

Instruction for a Help is a series of howto guides that are written in spectacularly mangled English that suggests some sort of a translator. Take this advice in Instruction for a Fruit: "Take a bad water and make a good water. A fruit loves a water twice a day." The language, and the articles' apparently insane notions ("The eyes of a fruit close and a tear comes") are written by Zack Parsons, for comedy website Something Awful. But soon the bizarrely humourous become bizarrely disturbing, and it becomes obvious that comedy is not the main thrust of the series.

 The readers of the "instructions" mostly call for people to love and respect nature, and to report to "THE CENTER" to be "diagoloised" and assessed for what we can safely assume to be reproductive activity, or as they call it, "formulating a babie"(lol). Having trouble with your "babie"? No problem, just ring for your neighbourhood friendly red worm. He is your friend, and will protect you from the mans from below, which incidentally, if you see him, you should open up his skin and "take out ALL his fluids".

This world where man and nature live harmoniously by all accounts, is flavoured with strange distorted images, becoming fragmented and broken as the series hits its climax, when the mythical "mans from below" threaten the status quo.

It ends rather ambiguously, but is tied strongly to a companion narrative, also written by the same author, called "The View From Below", which despite spoiling the mystery surrounding Instruction for a Help, The View from Below is what I would argue is the "meat" of the the actual story. The View from Below is an arguably even better story, this time with proper English and a much more straightforward narrative with the same setting. The setting of it, political aspects and all, are well-realized and believable; the plot twists and turns past an easy ending into an epilogue that is one of the more intriguing endings I've seen in Fantasy/SciFi.

It is quite long, but segmented into convenient chunks and is unusually well-written and original for internet fiction.

>>>READ IT HERE <<<<

Internet literature

Murphy's law: 99% of everything is shit.

Today: Found some 1%.

I had actually heard about the LP for Animal Crossing for some time, but had never bothered to read it, assuming that it was just another black parody of a children's game. I started on Part 1 just now and then read it all the way through. "Let's Plays" are usually just some guy snarking his way through a video game, sometimes you get good laugh material, but this... this is beyond parody. This is nightmare fuel. Well-written, riveting nightmare fuel based off a children's game about cute animals. Link below.

The Terrible Secret of Animal Crossing.


------------------------------------------------------------

Second story I found (a month or two ago) is a bit different. It's a trader-turned-scammer's account of how he did his first big scam in EVE Online. EVE's one of those mega-MMOs, so the virtual game money actually has some significant real-life value. The story's basically a crime action film, brought down to reality - I suppose that's why it got my heart pounding when the virtual spaceships start shooting. It's an alternately exciting and disgustingly fascinating look into the EVE metagame.

It's called Nightfreeze. It was written as some sort of memoir, but it's a bit cloudy as to how much of it's actually true. It's got some teeth-biting parts, but the ending's kind of lame. I'm actually toying around with writing a feature-length script for it someday (no srsly!).

Metagaming is the term we use to describe real-life actions that support virtual holdings and investments. For example, cutting the power to a guy's house so that your internet buddies can fly in with spaceships and blow up his expensive Titan. (that's an EVE Online ancedote, too!)

Got into a little facebook tussle + rant

Pretty common for me to pick fights on the internet =(

Protip: don't fight on facebook. It can be nearly as bad as having sex with the other guy in public.

I don't really have anything against the YOG, honest. I don't have too much interest in the politics at the moment, because my own life is a sinking ship. But once in a while I can't resist playing devil's advocate. The perverseness of going against the flow... it gets me hard!

So anyway I don't know either of these people, or indeed many people at all on FB, so I decide what the hell I'll just go bomb something off the top of my head. I thought the miss Tan up was just making a throwaway comment like me, but nooooo, she starts naming names. Everybody in Singapore knows that one person is just a dangerous detractor, but two people is a mob and you should call the police so they can bring in the riot vans and tear gas.

Anyway yeah, small beans, wouldn't even call it mudslinging (though I probably sound harsh for a Singaporean). The surprise is when I realize that Estell IS ON MY FRIENDS LIST LOL WAT. I keep a fairly tight friends list and never add anyone I don't know, and I have never known anyone by this name. I check the profile, and it's my junior in Mass Communication. She changed her name to this weird thing.

*headslap* Of course. It's the goddamn internet.

I guess it looks like I've lost another of my precious few media contacts, not to mention one of links back to my old life in secondary school and the Drama Club. I shall strive to be less snide on Facebook. *sigh* Miss Tan there added me as a friend though, lol. She appears to be a 20+ politically-minded girl, judging from her profile. I was hoping she'd be younger, hehehe.

Rant time. Why are Singaporeans so adverse to passionate debate and argument? It gets on my tits how many people keep interjecting variations of "OMG I HAZ MY OWN OPINION OKEY" and "agree 2 disagree can???" Those phrases have nothing inherently wrong about them - when an argument persists as a stalemate, you can talk about common ground and difference of opinion to bring things back to earth. But it has been feeling to me for a very long time that too many Singaporeans spam these lines at the first sign of tension, throwing a blanket on the debate the moment things get interesting.

Singaporeans like us loooooove the status quo. It terrifies us that our opinions may be OMG WRONG, it terrifies us that because Person A has different values from Person B, a fight might break out OMG! Or they won't be friends anymore. No, we just want everyone to keep quiet except when they're agreeing with each other. After all, we wouldn't want a repeat of the racial riots from 1962 now would we?

We're so fucking pampered, not just in the material sense, but in the social sense. In May last year or the year before, a Singaporean teacher went to lecture at New York. There, she taught that homosexuality was bad, which made the liberals there flare up and start up a little campaign against her. Did she stand up for what she believed in? Fuck no. She turned tail and ran for home. I'm pro-gay marriage myself, but that's not the point. The point is that Singaporeans shit their pants at the first sign of conflict, they either run away spouting "BUT IT JUZ MAI OPINON", or they get really defensive (see LKY's lawsuits).

It's probably the reason Singaporeans venture little into the international stage beyond business. One of the few reasons I would not migrate west is because I'm pretty sure I'm mollycoddled too. Wouldn't fit in.

This morning Citizen, the owner of GunZFactor finally came in. He called the possibly-suicidal's internet service provider, who in turn contacted the mother. Despite what some people say about the right to die, I'm not buying into that, especially not for someone who's only lived 17 years. Expecting my ego to fluctuate any time now.

Meanwhile I just finished my first short film and submitted it. Pulled off a decent job despite my team members consisting of an overly quiet guy and a bitch. Back to secondary school days again. Zephyre suggested I go nazi, and I'm glad I did. Nothing against the overweight, but she really did piss me off for all her dated competence and snide remarks. She edited a 30 second video when the target was 90, and took advice from a person who was sleeping throughout class. Just tried to leave her out of the loop and bulldoze through.

Apparently, the director is one of the last few truly dictatorial roles left in modern society. Great.

Percolation, isolation

Just wanted to share this extract from a blog I read...

"They say there is good out there in the world-but why dont i ever see it. The world is hard and cruel and we should accept it. Just ytdy i went to the post office to pay my cousin's phone bill and there was this elderly man about 5 people in front of me in the queue and he was paying his electricity bill- his electricity had apparently been cut and he didnt have enough money to pay his bill. He was 9 dollars short and he started to cry- i mean wtf the 5 ppl in front of me just ignored him and this man with his family told his kids to look away. I was just so pissed and saddened. I walked over to the man payed his bill for him and i'll never forget the hug or the look of gratitude he gave me.

Most of all i'm disappointed. Disappointed at my countrymen. what kind of society has my country become. Heartless,cruel, impatient bastards is what i believe my countrymen are. Even at the bank when i'm taking out my wallet before walking over to the teller the guy behind me pushes and exclaims loudly for me to move( never mind the matter that i can break his face).

Forget Singaporeans- my country has a hell lot of expatriates and foreigners and i believe that they are the worst. Forget the fact that the majority of them are from India and china. What i really hate about them is how they always criticise Singapore and how much better their homeland is and the way look so degrading at anyone else.

Firstly, if your homeland is so much better what the fuck are you doing in my country and secondly they should remember that perhaps they form the elite in their country but in this country they arent the elite and they should learn their place and they should really keep their sniveling sucking up to themselves cause it aint going to work on me nor my mum and especially not my dad. The government should really consider having some kind of Compatibility test to determine if these foreigners will be able to fit into society before allowing them to work or live here.( something like what perhaps Australia has)

i may sound like some elitist arrogant toerag- well if u want to believe so its your problem. I just believe i'm privileged to go to a top school and have my parents trust me to have my own condo but what i cant stand are rude impatient dis-compassionate assholes. Singapore is a society, lets act like members of a society and help one another or perhaps even smile once in a while. I've never felt so ashamed to be Singaporean before."

Photos that changed the world

(EDIT: the hotlinks have been blocked - you'll have to copy the image address and paste it into your browser to see the pics. Sorry!)

http://digitaljournalist.org/issue0309/lm_intro.html

Here are some of them:


Tiananmen Square, 1989. The Communist Party dispatched the military to deal with the thousands of protestors in China calling for liberal and democratic reforms. This man stepped in front of a column of tanks, and continued to block the tanks when they tried to drive around him, despite that a day ago the military had been seen to use deadly force against unarmed protestors. He then climbed on top of the lead tank and held a conversation with the commander. Eventually onlookers pulled him aside. The photo became the icon for the unrest in China for people worldwide. The "Tank Man" was never seen again.

This is what is known as lynching. The black men had been accused of raping a white girl. There was a third accused negro, but the girl's uncle stood up for that one.


The US had just begun outlawing racial segregation. Naturally it didn't go down well.


A South Vietnamese police chief executes a suspected Vietcong guerilla captain. Although the photographer saw the executor as a hero, the US public thought differently.

This... is Nagasaki on August 6, 1945.

McCullin, sent to cover a war in Biafra, "lost interest" in photographing soldiers and instead took pictures of what I learned in class as kwashiorkor, a protein deficiency. Bloated bellies is one symptom.

8 months after Pearl Harbor, Roosevelt decided that the US was growing complacent, and lifted the ban on photos of US war casualties.

These are the streets of Athens, Greece. The smoke is coming from smoke grenades. This isn't one of the 27 photos provided in the link above; it was taken eleven days ago.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008_Greek_riots

Christian charity rejects 17K to feed starving children

From Giant In The Playground (www.giantitp.com), a community comprised of tabletop and RP gamers - most members play Dungeons & Dragons or at least role play scenarios (no, not cybersex). GiantITP features two original high-quality webcomics written and drawn in vastly different styles.

I didn't exactly go hunting for this (I visit regularly for the Erfworld comic), nor do I have a vendetta against Christianity or Republicans, but you read it and tell me it's not appalling at first sight. This was on the news page of GiantITP:

"As has been reported by a few other gaming blogs and news sites, the Charity Auction at this year's GenCon Indianapolis was held to benefit Gary Gygax's favorite charity, which I will not name here for reasons that will soon become obvious. The fine folks at GenCon raised over $17,000 for this charity, which helps starving children in impoverished areas of the world--only to have that money actually turned down by the charity. The charity refused due to the fact that the money was raised partly by the sales of Dungeons and Dragons materials, which as we all know, puts an irrevocable taint of evil on the filthy lucre that us demon-worshipping gamers might want to use to, say, donate to starving children. Not only is this a slap in the face to every gamer, but it is especially insulting to Mr. Gygax himself, who I understand donated to their cause many times over the years. Plus, I'm sure the children who would have gotten food or clean drinking water with that money would be sort of upset, too.

I bring this story to your attention not simply so that you might let the people at this charity know how you feel (especially if you have donated to it before, as many did in the wake of Mr. Gygax's passing), but so that you would be aware that there is an alternative charity that I would personally recommend (based on our own charitable giving) if you have a desire to donate money to help starving children. Plan USA is a worldwide charity aimed at helping those who live in poverty and/or have suffered from a natural disaster, particularly with monthly sponsorships of individual children. Since the money of D&D players is clearly not welcome at this other charity, I can't recommend Plan USA highly enough to those interested in giving anyway. At least if you choose to donate through them, there's no chance your generous gifts to the starving children of the world will be rejected due to your weekend hobby."

For non-nerds: Gary Gygax is supposedly the creator (or one of the creators, I can't remember which) of the hit long-running tabletop RP game Dungeons and Dragons. Mr. Gygax passed away this year. GenCon is a convention for gaming.


Naturally I dug a bit further.

They sent back a reply, which was copypasta'd for all gamers who sent an indignant email:

Christian Children’s Fund made the decision to decline the gift from Gen Con, LLC as the request presented to us gave the appearance that CCF (the organization) was an endorser or supporter of a gaming convention, which CCF was not. As many non-profit organizations, CCF is selective in its endorsements or support in order to maintain the integrity of its name and logo. We cannot lend our name to an event for which we have no involvement. This decision should in no way be interpreted as CCF holding an opinion on Mr. Gygax, gaming enthusiasts or the game Dungeons and Dragons.


A person who saw the reply commented:

It's still saying "We don't want any ties to a role-playing organization whatsoever. Even if it's just them giving us money." I can see how accepting money from a particular organization or event can be considered an "endorsment" of that organization. But how does such a one-sided deal dilute the charity's image unless the organization in question is unpopular?

Another:

Charities have been accepting the donations of the GenCon charity auction since the second such show in 1969, before D&D was even invented. Never once has the money been refused by any charity, to my knowledge. Case in point, as mentioned, Fisher House didn't see the same legal issues with accepting the money or lending their name, nor did last year's recipient, Cristel House.

Moar & Moar:

As surprising as this may be, there are still folks who don't know anything about D&D beyond what they heard from sensationalists in the 80s (notably, my parents were in this group until I started playing!) and I would not blame a charity for not wanting to scare off such people based on a misunderstanding.

There is no evidence that the CCF rejected the donations. As was pointed out in the cited post the CCF simply rejected being the official charity of GenCon. GenCon then went with another charity and gave the money to them instead. From the form letter, CCF weren't even aware that they weren't going to get the donation until people E-mailed them asking why they rejected them.

And finally, another reply by the charity:

To be clear, Gen Con made the decision not to donate to CCF; at no time did CCF refuse to take charity money from Gen Con. Gen Con chooses a show charity long before Gen Con Indy 2008 ever takes place.


It's really not a one-sided issue, really. Numerous arguments have been made (cut out because they'd bore you) in the charity's defense (even by atheists) that detail why legal process or a misinterpretation of events may have perpetuated the issue.

People have been getting riled up for receiving copypastas, despite that half of the mail being written to the charity is over-reactive vitriol and Christianity-hate. And that the 17K has been routed to another charity. So the moral is NOT that Christian organizations are uptight little buggers, but that there are some things you'll never (or be hard-pressed to) really find 100% conclusive answers for, and trying to obtain such an answer even when there isn't one will lead to a lot of assumptions being made (which may well ironically devolve into discrimination).

Sources:
http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95278
http://community.gencon.com/forums/t/18786.aspx

The strange things I get from porn... (Serious post)

(Please read the post below this one; I recently posted my O Level English composition, and if you read it and tell me you like it I will get a hard on.)

Rest assured, The following post is safe for reading. Unless your parents are really narrow-minded and oppressive, you could probably use this for a bedtime story or something. If you have a pretty good idea what 4chan is, just skip the next three paragraphs, though I'd have a bigger boner if you didn't.

Once again re-iterating for the unwashed: 4chan is a diverse and popular imageboard (that means people go there to post images). It is divided into many sections, including Anime, Torrents, Guns, Artwork, Music, Video Games, Transportation, etc. Most users remain anonymous, thus avoiding some measure of e-drama. The most well known section is /b/, the Random section of the imageboard, which cultivates a mess of memes (little fads and recurring jokes), insensitivity-on-purpose, running the gamut from bare honesty to hardcore trolling. It's the source of the recent anti-Scientology movement dubbed "Project Chanology" (which involves rickrolling the Church of Scientology).

It's an interesting community - your petite safe society's rules don't apply. In fact, 4chan's citizens were probably the first to make fun of things like September 11, suicides (emo kids), rape, and all that stuff nobody decries or has an alternative view on in public. That's just it - 4chan is alternative. It's a haven for people to dump all the socially unacceptable things they have in their heads. It's the backlash from society's oppressive "follow the crowd" force.

/d/ is the section for Hentai/Alternative. You thought Hentai was bad? /d/ is where the really /d/eviant stuff go. BDSM (wikipedia it), mixing of genders (please don't ask), monsters, tentacle monsters (hohoho), ridiculous stretching of body parts... I'll stop here. Sorry to those who have good imaginations.


So tonight I was skipping around /d/, with my parents in bed and me not in bed. I found a thread where the theme was "Left to come forever" which basically translates into "leaving bound helpless females with vibrators in them FOREVAR" or perhaps more accurately: "Forced orgasms without a male in the picture". Anyway, the downright crazy pictures posted aren't what I want to highlight.


Early into the thread someone called the idea of forced orgasms as "weird". According to him/her, without a consenting mind, you can't orgasm. Other people thought differently: "Stimulation is stimulation", someone said. "...it is possible to force women to orgasm even if they're not in the mood/mentally stimulated."


If you still think this is an argument about orgasms (a moderator actually thought that the issue was with how erotic the fetish was), I suggest you think a little deeper.


"There was actually a well-known rapist in the states who thought that since he made them orgasm, it wasn't really rape... just because you have an orgasm doesn't mean you wanted it."

The shit began flying from this post on (shortened and removed some posts, Note that there were an indeterminate number of participants, as everyone went by "Anonymous"):
"There's no way they orgasmed if they didn't want it. They either faked it which, lets face it, isn't hard, or they conceded and -tried- to orgasm because he was oh, threatening their life with a gun or knife. So I suppose in a life-threatening sense you can "force" an orgasm."

"I'm praying to God that you're a troll. How could you possibly say such a thing like that? Women have climaxed while being raped-- they didn't want it or did it to somehow make it end. It just happened. That's how their body responded."

"Well. As someone who has been forced to orgasm during a rape, no, I didn't "want it" at all, in any way, shape, or form. I can't control what my body responds to."

"We are talking about a Situation in which most people wouldn't even feel pain."
"the reality of it all, they have a kink, they don't want to admit. Vibrators probably wouldn't work, unless some1 was watching them, or acting in some sort of way, that acts as their hidden kink."

"@ Everyone who's saying "If they orgasm, they must want it": And people wonder why women (and men) are afraid to report rape?"

"I haven't been raped, but came damn near close to it. Some older ugly ass woman, who probably had every STD known to man, would leave me alone, and trying too hard to whore her self to me. I was disgusted with her, but even so, i still had a hard on."

"and you were physically incapable of defense? Rape means you are completely at the mercy of the rapist. Sounds to me your experience doesn't even come close."
"Rape is sex without consent. Being able to fight back has nothing to do with it."

"statistically men are more afraid to report rape. they are also statistically more likely to experience some physical symptom of arousal during rape. In the case of anal penetration this is not actually their fault. Stimulation of the prostate will cause the penis to become erect, it's just biology."

"Quite rare to see /d/ go from fetish dump to full on discussion."

Indeed. Roughly half of the Anons were objecting angrily to those who thought that "it's not rape if the victim orgasms". I was really surprised when one of them claimed to have been raped before. After all, this is /d/ - people come here to FAP at pictures of girls getting tied down and raped. Defending rape victims? Them? Could they simply have been lying about being raped before? Something to think about, eh?

Balancing real life with fantasy. It's harder than they portray in the shows - this issue has warranted attention ever since the internet offered people the option of escape. I've been watching porn since Primary 5, yet it doesn't get in the way (well not from this side anyway) when I'm talking to female acquiantances. For this facet at least, I can separate life from fantasy (Mikana is the exception; she bounces all over the spectrum for me).

So exactly how closely does our biology tie into the human intent and emotions? As XKCD put it: Psychology is applied biology. But if free will can override sexual pleasure, what else does it override? How many times has humankind clashed with nature already? Ovary-severing? Is human friendship akin to the cooperation of a buffalo herd or is it more? Sex changes? What is the difference between a romance and a sexual relationship? Domestic partnerships versus traditional marriage? Obviously, these are not simple questions.


Here, have a funny picture.

You have encountered a troll!

I feed them bananas. So a day or so ago roystongoh_27@hotmail.com added me on MSN. I didn't know anyone with the name Royston (though if I'm not wrong, there is a Royston at my school, dunno his surname though). So I figured it'd be likely to be someone from GZF. This morning I was greeted warmly by my new contact.


☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:46):
fker cb
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:46):
...


Of course, being the gentleman that I am, I greeted him back just as sincerely.


Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:46):
y halo thar
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:47):
i am nicedigger
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:47):
who is u?


lulz and some head-scratching on my part ensues.


☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:47):
u from ccks?
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:47):
no i from bananaland
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:47):
ban ur lao bu la
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:47):
the place with unlimited potassium
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:47):
fuck u
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ sent 2008/10/05 10:48:
dun dare say ur sch?
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ sent 2008/10/05 10:48:
cb
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ sent 2008/10/05 10:48:
scare?
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:48):
oh! oh! oh! don't insult my fruits!
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:48):
u_u
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:48):
stupid ass hole
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:48):
u from wat sch
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:48):
say la
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:48):
the bananas dun liek u anymore
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:49):
=(
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ sent 2008/10/05 10:49:
fucking face
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ sent 2008/10/05 10:49:
ur whole family dun like u la
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:49):
but i still have bananas
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:49):
and potassium
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:49):
so?
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:49):
fuck urfamily upside down la
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
go lick ur mother pussy
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
appear offline no use


^This suggests that Royston isn't very smart, as my MSN nick clearly defines my MSN as sporadic.


☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
ur mother kena car bang la hor
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
lan jiao face
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
suck ur father cock
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
and come lick my foot
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
_|_
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:50):
D=
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:50):
y so meanie
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
who the fuck r u?
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:50):
wat sch?
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:51):
banana-buddies don't have to go to school
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:51):
we have each other
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:51):
and potassium
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:51):
fuck u la
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:51):
nabei
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:51):
u goin to die soon
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:51):
Why so serious?
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:51):
have some bananas
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:51):
try me if u dare
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:52):
u shld try bananas
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:52):
i confirm u r who
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:52):
they are really gd
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:52):
i try ur mother pussy wan?
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:52):
good ur ass la
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:52):
u take ur banana fuck inside ur mother pussy la
Nosedigger (MSN is sporadic as hell) - Melanin-laced honey stars with coffee says (10:52):
but bananas r realli naise
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:52):
help her masturbate
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
can u fuck the shut up?
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
family all die la
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
crazy die
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
i goin to die soon
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
is fine to me
☠x!!a0^royston ☠ says (10:53):
BB!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He immediately went offline after that. So I did a couple of checks, and one of the places where I make the most "friends" is Youtube. A surprising number of people come to post scathing comments on some of the co-produced toilet humour videos I host on my account, then make multiple accounts to spam downrates. In the comments of one such video:

roystongoh (1 week ago)

hg la u wasting sch toilet paper doing this kind of stupid ****ing thing

nosedigger (1 week ago)

Well, you waste toilet paper without entertaining anybody.

(It really pisses people off when you insult them then block them right after-, so of course...)


Bottom line: Disappointing to know there weren't any epic reasons for all the hate. At least I still have my bananas.

On the Verge

Yeah, an online forum can be much better than a professional counselor or psychologist. Why? Because you don't pay for it. You don't have the impression that people are going out of their way to talk to you because it's their job or because they want your money, but rather because they understand what you're talking about, they've lived it, or they want to help.

Being a professional doesn't mean they can fully understand your situation, or that they ever lived it. It just means they got a diploma and the "knowledge" of psychology.

- Vonterul, GunZFactor Forums

One of the few places where we can come close to equality is the internet.

Picture largely unrelated

On the verge...

And on the internet. This is what I found on GunZFactor Forums:

I'm so tempted to commit suicide, I can taste it. I think about it a few times a week. I think I'm gonna do it. There's nothing to stop me, nothing to change my mind. I have no reason to live, I have no support group I'm willing to talk to. You're my god damn support group. This is nearly anonymous. If we're being realistic, I don't even know why I'm making this topic. It's not like you can just say "Don't do it." over and over and it'll calm me down or change my mind. It will postpone it at best. I'm not in a state of depression, I'm in a state of disappointment. Why the **** am I not doing it? Is it some sort of survival instinct kicking in, making me hold back? No amount of music can calm me down. I can't wait to cool down so I forget about my troubles and become numb. I've been numb my whole life. I haven't trusted a single human being. I haven't felt fear in years. I've never been in a good relationship with a girl. I haven't felt alive in... probably a year ago.
-Jackolope


This is one response:

I find it futile to fuel this mans need for attention. I don't have time to sympathize with a guy who is thinking about suicide nor the energy. If he really is thinking about suicide then lets cut the horse**** and call his parents or whoever cares about him and get this **** done. I'm not in the mood to discuss how bad he has it in life.
- Waterbuster

This is another:
I know what you're going through man, and it sucks but you have to change your frame of mind. Change your outlook. It's easier said than done, I know, but that's your major issue. Like someone above me said, your entire life can change at any given point in time. Mine changed about ten months ago when my girlfriend and I split. At the time, she was the only stable thing in my life. She seemed like the only person who gave a damn, and then she really ****ed me over. It wasn't just a split, it was a life altering event. I had to ditch friends I had who were connected to her.. Most of my friends, in fact. Couldn't stand talking to them because everything about them brought up a memory of her. I mean, we were just about inseperable for three years.

Anyway I'm not here to tell you about my problems, but I'm just saying that I know what it feels like to have virtually nothing to look forward to in life. And I can tell you now that it's your mind, not your situation. Your mind might be affected by your situation, sure, but that doesn't mean it's permanent. Make lemons into lemonade, as they say. You have nothing? Make something. Do something. Do you have a job? If not, go get one. If so, ask for more hours. Save up a lot of money and start doing something you really like. Hang out with friends more and go out and socialize. Go paintballing or something like that. Hell, I dunno, whatever you're into. Point being, the fact that you can leave everything behind and just start over fresh means that you're capable of turning any situation into a win situation, as long as you have the mentality to back it up. And that means you can't just read what I'm saying, but you need to absorb it and really THINK about it and REALIZE what I'm telling you, don't just skim over it because you know the basic routine I'm typing out here.

I hope you feel better man. If you ever find yourself close to it or thinking about it, just remember that the only people who suicide are the people who didn't give themselves a chance to get over it.
-Paul


So, is Jackolope serious? Regardless of whether or not in this instance, a real person, sitting behind a real computer, is entertaining real dreams of suicide, the world (or at least the part that cares) is going to have to accept that the internet is no longer some sort of advanced telephone that lets you play games as a sidebar. Pitifully few people recognize what the internet is: it's a connection to the rest of the frickin' world. It's a world of it's own. It has its own culture, its own factions, its own laws. Too often we underestimate this fact, or choose to see only the aspects that are immediately useful to us.

Even if Jackolope is a troll and is faking it for attention, logical deduction based on the popularity and growing influence of the internet shows that people do treat other netizens, as real people. (Maybe that's because they are.)

We've already seen the evidence in many internet romances (failures and the underreported successes) and friendships (I have seen proof of this myself). The internet is no longer simply a place where people share funny jpegs. It is also a place for them to laugh about them together.

And yes, it has also become a place where people come to make very real real-world decisions. Look back at what Jackolope said above:
I have no reason to live, I have no support group I'm willing to talk to. You're my god damn support group.

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Okay, time to go do my maths after I type this.

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Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana Mikana MIKANA mikana

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Added to list of things I want to write about/feature:
A group of voluntary counselors going around the internet saving lives. The counselors are very young.

That's the kind of stuff we should be seeing on TV, not that sci-fi superhuman crap (I'm looking at YOU, Heroes). That, or something on places like Darfur and Ossetia. Try watching an episode of Pokemon, or listening to your sister rant about sexual fantasies over the phone, or reading some article about a kid who won big bucks in a gaming competition, then turn to the page where they talk about what's going on in Iraq, in North Korea, in Darfur, in Ossetia. If that doesn't put things in perspective for you and make you absolutely loathe the reasons behind modern oversensitivity and censorship, then you need to tell me how you sleep at night, because this is partially why I can't.

People preferring to watch their Sunday cartoons so they can ignore the difficulties of others around the world. Then they go to their church or mosque or whatever, and then they pray for the welfare of themselves and their families. Makes my stomach turn.

religion and its detractors.

Enjoy =D This is what you get when you give an atheist too much time with cartoons... *glares at Panzer* xD

No picket signs please, im singaporean.

Ok, after the chain of light-hearted posts, I decided to do with my own. :P




A picture says a thousand words, only if you're smart enough, otherwise, seriously, don't bother.
Anyway nice pics eh? Don't know who did em but what I know is that they're from the
fantastic Uncyclopedia. Want a link? here you lazy bastards..

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Singapore

Anyways, while your there, check out the many articles about the various religions, yes, including flying spagetti monster, at least only if your open enough that is. Its a great laugh if your open about it.

My past week (and da intenetz)

Fraught with battles between my procrastinating self and sensible self.

I just wrote two narratives. They're pretty cool IMO. I'll post them if my English teacher approves of them.

Two big things bothering me:

I sent in my application for the 24h playwriting competition late. It'll only be received on Monday, and Theatreworks is holding two 24h writing workshops before then which will bring in more people to snap up my seat before then. If I don't get in... I can't believe I didn't send it in earlier. Fuck this. I'm calling them tomorrow to discuss this.

Two: A trailer I made for a contest didn't get selected for top ten. What really irks me is that terrible videos have been chosen instead. It has happened before. I'm disappointed, and some people at GZF are gloating and trolling me about my confidence that my trailer is top ten material (I still am convinced the judges were tards, or prejudiced against Asian players). I've even got a complaint about how I let them walk all over me. Lol. Moderating a forum full of ippy people who crave attention and get a kick out of "defying the system" can get unpleasant. It's also been such a learning experience that I included it in my DPA application for Psychology.

If Peak Oil doesn't plunge the world into catastrophe by the next few decades, your sons and daughters will be venturing out into the internet at a tender age. Yes, we're all used to MSN, blogspot, Google, torrents - but I have been to some of the more shady spots. Some of you have never even heard of 4chan, the webcomic phenomenon, internet memes (Over 9000), porn sites, sites that jack your browser, the cultures that sites like Youtube, Wikipedia, and Deviantart develop? Yes my first choice is FSV, but internet/youth psychology is still an attractive field of study for me.

It's only too bad that by the time I come out into the industry, my knowledge on youths will have become largely obselete. But hey - I still have the internet. That's the thing I love about it. If you don't go to the wrong places, people will judge you by what you say and do and make - not what you look like. That's one entire bunch of stereotypes down the drain.


mikana is hawt D: