our december sun is coming

I played truant again today.

Not that I don't enjoy school. School is really fun and stuff. But after a while it just gets really tiring and on somedays I feel the need to run away from 12 hour schedules.

Now that exams are over, it's back to the board. For most of us, it's back to covering the syllabus and we got about 1 to 2 topics left to cover for all subjects before term's out on the last week of November. For others, there's the mugging to do for the level up papers. And for the even smaller minority, there's no need for them in school until next year to start with the retainee's J1 year.

Ahaha. Felt really recharged and refreshed today as I slept in for most of the day with my ipod snuggled in my ears. Listening to all the old songs.

O levels start next week. I miss O levels haha.

So I took a quiz on facebook that says I'm a perfectionist kind of person. Quite true... And with taking all those moral ed lessons in school telling me I'm a very dominant and arrogant character, the same message is beginning to hit home.

Sure, I'm an arrogant guy and I'm a perfectionist when it comes to doing what I think I should be doing. Normally I would brush this off and in fact smile quietly under the facade that somehow, some people in this world understands. Yes, being a perfectionist also makes me rather elite in a sense.

Most of my life's ethos quotes are all to deal with Perfection.

I've been really inspired by Modern School's motto "Perfection cannot be acheived by the weak." and John Wooden's strive for perfection quotes. In fact, I live fueled by the drive to be perfect. None of us are perfect, but its the desire to outdo and the endeavour for perfection that creates new beings and pushes new boundries in us.

It all made perfect sense...

Until I got into a brush with a friend over being too perfectionist. This has nothing to do with the previous pfort discussion on elitism (not the dangerously elitism discussion). It was a quite scuffle with one of my close personal friends who disagreed about what I was striving for in life. Pushing myself to excel in everything wordly. Giant once said, I'm a go-getter. I totally agree. But to what extent am I going to push so hard for excellence and forget about what I stepped on for my great endeavour. 

Even in school, I'm beginning to make a name among the people around me for being arrogant, elite, a perfectionist and someone who wouldn't tolerate nonesense from others. I was never this serious about this in secondary school and I guess being in junior college has changed this in me. 

Its time to stop moving so fast and slow down to rethink. Nothing is wrong with being a perfectionist, but if it strains so much then it obviously means something is wrong.

Rethinking and retracing. But this obviously does not mean I'm not a perfectionist now. And I still despise stupid people and nonesense...

apathy, apple tea

JC life sucks tremendously where work is concerned. Already getting used to all these lectures and tutorials, that is I'm so used to not getting stuff. 

SPA for Chem and Physics is going to be damn anal.

Chemistry is going to be damn anal

GP is going to be anal (cos getting a grade A is super hard)

PW is going to be damn anal

Chinese is going to be damn anal

You can see how my life is taking the turn for the worst with more emphasis on the backdoor. I think I won't need sex ever in my life.

I finally understand when people tell my O levels are easy. I never did get it, until the gigantic, massive, super black A came. I'm at the third topic for most of my topics now, massive pace, and look at the f____ dept... Life sucks take drugs.

Have anyone noticed my previous few posts was about life in school? What a life. Bitch.

Iliterati el china

So today, Ms Gillian actually showed us a documentary called "Mad About English", during GP mass lecture, which talks about the chinese obsession to pick up the English language. From the common old man who wants to show off chinese culture to the rest of the world as volunteer guides, to the cabbies who want to give a good impression of the chinese people to the world, to the policeman who wants to be able to communicate and do his part for his nation.

As the video rolled and showed how these people practice and try to pick up English in the most hilarious ways, laughter drew from among the 800 or so gathered in the CC. It then suddenly dawned on me how even the old man made an effort to pick up chinese since 2001 when China won the bid, to when the movie was filmed in 2007. There are just so many more things we can learn from here other than granddy's determination here. Two things, how on my part as a chinese failed miserable to even speak my langauge, and the other, is how chinese nationalism can drawn patriotism on the part of the individual to strive for the greater good of his country without any string attached.

How many of us Singaporeans actually understand and fully appreciate our culture (if at all any) and also embrace our traditions and stand by our nation? The fact tht our culture and 'selling point' is diversity between races, and harmony between races and religons shows thaat we were prepared and still are to sacrifice culture and traditions for the sake of keeping the peace. No complains to that, but in exchange, we gave up our rights to a club, an exclusive club which counts and manages our culture points. I remember feeling extremely ashamed when my secondary school failed at showcasing a uniquely singapore arts presentation/performance. While our indian counterparts strutted their stuff and showed us what real culture really is about.

I still don't know where to draw the balance between this. Between culture, belonging and traditions and with harmony between different ethnic groups. We gave up a lot of civil peace, it all better be worth it. Because it sucks being part of nothing.

On a side note, school's been really awesome over the past week. The girls are simply phenomenal here. Everyday, its a new pretty girl I see in school. Though they haven't really aroused my intrest far enough for me to want to strike up a conversation. I'm still madly infatuated by so many of them... mmmhmmm 

LL

Damn, I realised she's pretty hot and pretty. 

This is obviously rare and unusual for me. I never thought I'd find some hot girl so fast.

Who am I kidding. What if i really have a crush on her? Lol. Screw it...

But her attitude is pretty bitchy. This sounds like some typical high school problem for the freshmans... Except I've already gone past my sophmore year and i'm in junior year now.

LOL. screw this shit.

thoughts...

It is still somehow lingering in my mind.

What if I really did better and went to ACJC instead..

SAJC is really a good place and a good school for studying, but the question is, would I really be happier?

After aiming for so long and falling short by a massive two points, I guess I can't hide my disappointment.

But this world is really full of 'what ifs' and 'if only'. I'm trying not to think about it too hard.

Don't get me wrong, I love SA, its really great. But I put AC so high and now that I failed to enter, it feels kinda sour... 

And its even worse now that orientation is in full swing. It really sucks when almost a quarter of SAJC students seem to be ACJC rejects with half my OG appearing that way. But we still enjoy our times together as an OG. But everyone seems to think they would be happier studying at another JC. It makes me feel so shallow...

Would I really be happier if I did a tat better for O's?

Stop asking, I really should stop! I'm trying, I swear...

SAJCarcanum

Orientation was pretty boring at the start of the day. As all the J1s went into the 1000 seater auditorium - The Cultural Center. Orientation was pretty boring at first with all the new faces and the ice breaker games were not powerful enough to break those iceblocks.

Now I truely understand what it means to go to an elite school and not be an NSK. The feeling is definitely different and the people there are of a different make as well. Lets take the girls for example. There are hell lot of pretty girls in the school from what I've seen so far. Its like looking in my old school for four years can't even compare to just taking a glance across the CC for a few seconds. I am truely truely impressed. 

Meanwhile, orientation is proving to be a pretty tiring event of its own. We play group games, learn college cheers and tribe cheers, get accostomed to the life of a saint and also learn a mass dance for the campfire on the finale on friday night. We even have parent's dialouge on the 4th! Ending in the late evening on most of the days, I take a pretty long time to reach home. I wonder if this is a sign of things to come in my first year. With CCA and 2 more examinable subjects in the form of PW and MT, I think J1 is going to be a pretty 'late-home' kinda year.

Oh well. This is really exahusting, all the cramming on the bus and all that. I can't wait to swop my secondary school uniform for the SAJC one.

Half my OG is appealing to ACJC! With my kinda score or more! Whatthehell. But I'm not appealing though. Since I'm already here, I'll embrace it and seize it. 

Cape Diem.

The Best Is Yet To Be

Alright, yes I'll admit, I'm still damn sore I didn't manage to do well enough to enter ACJC. And now that my posting is out, the verdict is also here and I'll be part of SAJC for the next two years. Effectively, I have no more chance of becoming an ACSian anymore and instead, I'm being forced to settle for their rivals.

Who knows whats going to happen while I'm there? Maybe I'll even enjoy myself thoroughly during my tenure in SAJC. Honestly, what is this? Dammit. No more ACS, no more ACJC, no dover road. And now, its at bloody hell Potong Pasir. 

Though I'm honestly happy I didn't get my other options because AC and SA were the only two I was serious about in my options... I'm still mourning over ACJC. After so long, of targeting, aiming and finally doing the exams... My results were not good enough. Or shouldI say because I was not affiliated with the school. My score is definitely good enough for AC. Its just the number of bonuses I can deduct off. Damn.

Unhappiness, unhappiness.

School starts this monday. And orientation week is the whole of the coming week. I read the calander and it also shows SAJC annual cross country coming up soon in March. Its going to be a while before I fully embrace Saints culture and be a part of it. I hope its soon, because I know too, that all this moaning isn't good for me either.

I'll gladly trade my place in SA for a slot in AC's SB class.

Frustration. Frustration...