Demon's Souls. That's all I have to say. Shall try to update more if I have the time and motivation.

trapped rut stuck

it is now the march holidays, 6 weeks away from polytechnic school life. yet, almost everyday i return and stress myself over a competition i signed up for. the dwindling prizes and awards of the competition no longer attract me, and the potential intangible benefits seem to have disappeared.

my team of 4 comprises of the top student in the other cohort, and the first and second scorer in my class and cohort for last semester in terms of results, with me as the third scorer. an elite team? maybe. an elite performance? not really.

top student is going on an overseas community service trip as leader, so is busy with all the preparations and stuff. leader of the team is second scorer, and he appears to be busy with his own life. leaving me and first to shoulder most of the thinking and research.

i'm running out of time, competition presentation is at the end of the month and this coming week, i'll be too packed with prior engagements i can't walk away from. this Sunday, top student is flying off for the service trip, and won't be back till last week of holidays. tried to call for group meetings whenever possible, but more or less turns out to be a duo meeting between first and me. between the two of us, we are fatigued and devoid of ideas and directions. team leader is repeatedly apologetic about being unable to show up or do much.

i really feel trapped, stuck in a metaphorical rut and unable to move. and i don't want to lose this, and especially lose against the other team from my school. especially not when we are the 'elite' team.