Opportunity

Only when the school year starts do I see all the opportunities that are out there. So many competitions and seminars and crap I can go for. I guess it's kind of gay then, that I only have one CCA: the Current Affairs Club. They also had a Drama Club, but both the CAC and the Drama Club meetings clash. Moreover, their representative at the CCA fair told me that they were going to make their members take plenty of compulsory multidisciplinary modules. I'm done with not having a choice in how I spend my time. I choose CAC. It's high time I come out of my shell.

My course is only just starting on the basics. My schedule pretty good at first glance - besides my class, I heard only business school students have Fridays empty.

But look at this email I just got:

Dear Members

Mr Gan Kim Yong, Acting Minister, Ministry of Manpower, will be at school to hold a dialogue session with our students as part of a module.

We wish to invite 10 members from the Current Affairs Club for this session. This is a rare opportunity, it's not everyday that you get a chance to engage a
Minister in an exchange.

The topic is Global Economic Crisis & Economic Issues. When I saw this in my mail, the first thing I did was to check my timetable - I had class on the big day. I considered emailing my lecturer if I could miss his class that day. Or if I shouldn't email him, and miss his class anyway.

In the end I did neither. The truth is I wouldn't know what to ask the Minister of Manpower, and more embarassingly, am a little uncertain about how I might behave in his presence. During the first CAC introduction meeting one of the seniors said he read opposition publications and went to opposition rallies - so there is at least one person with something to say.

You read the email - only ten members. If I muscle in it's not fair to the people who have something to ask.

the Daily Buss

Its Wednesday of week 2, and what the long weekend is almost here, especially since my thursday is undeniably the slackest day of the week. Life is good in NP, if it wasn't for the daily bus rides. Packed like sardines be it early in the morning, at 11, or in the afternoon and evenings.
I have already taken most of the bus services I have access to in one way or another to and from NP. 52, 61, 67, 75, 184, 985. Yep, this morning I took 67 and had a nice walk up the hill to NP's back gate. By my watch, this way is the fastest and also the healthiest way to get to NP. Because even if I were to change from 67 to 184 mid-way, it would still be another 15more minutes as compared to the pure 67 line. Besides, I hate having to squeeze. Its unbearable, and another obstacle when you wish to alight.
Anyway, since I commute so damned early in the morning, I still feel sleepy all the time on the bus. So i used a few days to conduct a few tests on myself.
1. Bathe with shockingly cold water. I'm told this will keep you awake. Very wrong. Once on the bus, it gets so cold you feel like hibernating. Also, it make you feel very comfortable.
Conculsion: FAIL.
2. Buy a cup of coffee (hot!) and bring it with you on the bus to drink when you feel the urge to doze off. First of all, I finished my cup 15 minutes into the bus ride. Secondly, between the bumpy journey and the swaying of your body, beware of coffee spillage.
Conclusion: Near fail. I felt energized for the 15 minutes. But the hot beverage just made it easier to sleep after that.
3. STAND! Taking bus service 52 from Jurong Int at 7.15am ensures little to no other passengers boarding with you. As a result, I get to choose my seat. And I figure thats where it goes wrong. If I were to take any other bus, I would be forced to stand. And surprise, surprise. No fatigue to be experienced.
Conclusion: PASS! Also makes it more convenient when you wanna alight.

Now thats just for the morning. Going home is the worst. Imagine havign walked at least a thousand steps, carrying a heavy bag and laptop, and having to squeeze with students from ACS, Hwachong, SAJC, and other NP students. Terrible. And then, as the bus makes its way towards CCK, students from Primary and Secondary Schools (yea TOFU, i know... NSKs...) board it too. So the squeeze is always there.
Which brigns me to this. Yesterday, being fed up with waiting for 67, i took 985. And then a SAJB superior (not a student, some relative bigshot I think), boarded, and he being fat, still chose to stand at the exit, and play PSP. I don't know how many people had to shout excuse me into his left ear (his right ear was plugged with an earpiece) and then wait for him to slay his enemies before he moved.
I get it now. The more I experience society, the more I witness such stuff. Now I fully empathize with you TOFU. Retards...

Wind in my face, Sun on my back

Wind in my face, Sun on my back. Never have I truly appreciated the beauty of this phrase. After spending almost an hour on a bus, I stepped out onto a broad walkway in Singapore's typical weather, hot and humid. But this time round, it felt wonderful.
Its been such a long time since I totally threw myself to a place where I had never been to before, or done research to memorize the locality. Stepping of the bus, I glanced up to look for any directions. But heck, I decided to simply walk. And walk I did. Under the hot afternoon sun, the wind was a nice comfort, cooling my face, while my back still felt the sun's strong presence.
Now I truly understand what Tofu advocates, Freestyle Living. Perhaps it is also time for me to try it. For too long, I have been overly cautious, planing my every move, my every outing with care and detail. What a fool I was.

Npone

Last Sunday morning Miss Z messaged me and I think she apologized. She invited me back. I was really tempted to go back for Speech Day today, but it felt wrong. I'm afraid that the past will slow me down. Ms Z also mentioned that the Drama Club got a Gold for SYF, which pretty much demolishes my statement that the Club's "glory days are over".

Or does it? Does it make any difference? What about how the Club is carried 90% by hired instructors and staff? It's a totalitarian administration. They make you try out all sorts of things, force you to participate in all their activities. But surely I'm past that. I hate that method of doing things now. I feel like I'm being ushered around like a kid when I want my choices and my opinions to be treated with respect given to that of any other person of any age.

There's also a drama club in my school. They spoke of the varied, compulsory workshops they offered as if they were selling points. No thanks. 

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The truth is, I like attention. I like having strangers know about my life and comment. It's a product of my social failures, but it's the truth nonetheless. I began thinking seriously about setting up a second blog. I like the internet as an outlet, because you can get insights that aren't limited by your social circle - that's one cool thing about the internet, you can have really intimate conversations with strangers about the largest and littlelest things.

Also, you can pass judgement on people you know with less backlash from the subjects toward yourself personally; if I offend someone my online pseudonym takes the responsibility, to put it crudely. I have a bit more freedom of speech; though there is still that danger, and that is why I can't do this on Pebblefort; I want to make known my place of study and what I think of what goes on in my polytechnic. I won't do that here.

So far the plan is to write sincerely and to a luxurious length. No more worrying about overshadowing the rest of you. I dunno what I should do for advertising so far. Perhaps it's time to involve myself in the local internet communities (Polytalks and STOMP come to mind) to get readers. I dunno. I haven't really started it yet.

But yeah. New blog. Basing it around honesty and my life's events.

If I go back to my secondary school now, it'll feel wrong. Nobody will be there.

School, or at least what I think it was.

I prolly had this post done days back, but never had the motivation to post. (Read: lazy) But since Giant did so, I guess I would follow suit. (Thanks Giant)

My time so far has been pretty good, though it sometimes feels claustrophobic in campus. My modules this semester seems pretty easy, Biostatistics(math), Non-organic Chemistry (standard chem), Biomolecules (Organic chem and genetics), Anatomy (I'll ace it) Biophysics (Physics in the context of the human body. eg.ear, eye. OHLAWD) Basically,what Garri told me, is that its triple science in sec 4. True. Another interesting module was Critical thinking, which is really like GP. Our lecturer was apparently theater trained (stereotypical). In our last lecture, we had to formulate arguments in pairs, in which one had to win and explain why. It was fun. Practicals are awesome too, because in this, you actually have to make sure you don't kill yourself.(theres a poster on AIDS and Hepatitis precautions OMGWTFBBQ and Biohazard stickers pasted on virtually everything.(Read:Zombie Infection))

My class is really a large mix of different characters, sec 5 grads, JC dropouts, SAP school grads, nsk single pointers..good people, though the last thing I would have anticipated, well actually anticipated but never really thought it would be true was the amount of nerdy people in my class, most of them girls so..ouch. though this is compensated by the number of idiots in the buddy class.. again,most of them girls.(double ouch).

Though poly life has been treating me well, great lecturers, great OG (lol those guys are awesome), nice class, the only thing is really getting used to the environment and find ways to be active because frankly...its hard. I finally can see why so many people just don't give a fuck. I mean, my school e-mail is flooded daily with notices about Humanitarian trips, Student exchanges, volunteering( for YOG and other such events), talks, fairs, union and as a Freshman, without the connections, I don't think I'll bother. Just today a classmate retaking a module (module mate?) was asking me if I had a band for a charity gig. Well, I don't have a band so the obvious answer was nah.

But I guess one avenue for cca points is already covered..a cca. Golf LOLOLOL unless I ever want multiple ccas, which I will probably regret doing next year.

Anyway its the first week and I have 2 tutorials pending(not compulsory but hey! I'm hardworking) a 150 word thingy on freedom:right or privilege? Which I asume is a diagnostic thingy which I'll probably enjoy doing but will find difficulty actually penning down and a project. (ooh nanobiotech)

-Panzerz

A Boring Look At My First Week Of Poly Featuring This Really Very Long Title

Time flies. My first week of Poly is nearly over. Timetable is manageable, especially on Thursdays and Fridays where its very light. Modules and all appear to be rather straightforward, par the new chunk of terms I will now need to commit to memory. Another comfort is that for my Applied Statistics, which is mostly math, more formulas and more terminology, I seem to be able to do all them tutorials and assignments without any problems. Which also makes me the first person people turn to for help. Rather frustrating. Areef, how I miss your presence in math-related classes.
On seperate notes, I'm still considering my options for CCA. Nothing really struck me when I went to the CCA Fiesta. What a waste. But I want to get as many CCA points as I can after my 3 years, and also because I so desperately want to qualify for a scholarship. So, the search goes on. Currently, I'm considering Current Affairs Club and a couple more. I've seen their notices, which are simple pieces of A4 size paper with a question related to some recent piece of news and then the Club's details.
What appeals to me most, is the opportunity to challenge my brain beyond my modules. What makes this crucially important is because I have chosen to distance myself from the majority of my class who like to do everything together, which sadly involves lunch, making the benefit of being a large group nonexistent. So anyway, I've gathered quite a little following of people who also dislike such a big and rowdy group (I think they view me as Chief Loner). And then, among them all, is this girl who is like 4 years older than me, and went through the ITE route to get here. Her learning pace is really slow. Really, just through ASTATS, she kept on wondering what the teacher meant, and I have to explain again and again. I hope she got it, because I'm stuck with her in all my group projects for all modules, and because she is so clingy, she followed me into Yoga for S&W. Jeez... She keeps reading the location for the next class wrongly. WTP!
But before my esteemed comrades return me the arrow I fired onto one of them regarding Elitism, let me make my balanced viewpoint now. There are certain good things about having her. Firstly, her handwriting is good, and she practically copies everything from the whiteboard, and also, she keeps track of what assignments or tasks are due and by when, so I feel slightly more relieved having her to remind me. But then, I will not be complacent and end up relying on her. they will only have to end up relying more of ME than I to THEM.

Anyway, I closed my personal blog, so such lengthy posts with me exposing my raw emotions/thoughts are going to be common, provided I do post.

Bowling For Columbine (2002)

This review assumes you have watched the movie already.

Bowling for Columbine is my first review on a nonfiction film. During my very first class in the semester (but not in the polytechnic) we watched one of Michael Moore's biggest hits, Bowling for Columbine. Out of curiosity I had read the disturbingly violent plays that the Virginia Tech gunman had written, and participated in a few online discussions regarding whether video games were to blame for youth violence, but other than that? I was clean.

Sometimes a clean, ignorant perspective is good. Like how naive young children and teenagers can occasionally point out and take notice of things that adults miss over and over again. Whenever I'm diving into a new film, sometimes I like to read ahead and check out the scores on Rotten Tomatoes to know whether or not a good time is coming up, or a scoop of ice cream and some porn is in order. Sometimes I don't; sometimes I'm afraid preconceptions will mar how I enjoy the film.

With Columbine my brand new laptop was right beside me and I couldn't resist. 96% on the Tomatometer if I remember right. I was careful not to assume 96% meant a good film - it meant a film rated well by most critics and filmgoers. Which said nothing really, of how right (if there is a right) Moore's message would be.

The message in Columbine doesn't come through clearly at first; Moore meanders aside and interviews vaguely connected people. The common theme running through all of these ultimately boil down to how the US has scared itself into relaxing gun laws so it can buy more guns to assuage their fears of something that has been blown up by the media. The scared public demand guns, the guns are given freely, and when the wrong people get them, people throw the blame around and find a new host of things to be afraid of. Bottom line: things need to change.

Keep in mind: just because the film soars, doesn't mean it is right. Moore is indeed very skilful at evoking emotional response from the audience. He uses satire to get your attention then moves it down the lane of uncomfortable truths. At one point Moore is rebutting the assertions that the US keeps its weapons for self-defense only by playing a montage of American aggressiveness throughout history. It was a little humourous at first, I must admit. The final scene displays Osama bin Laden using his CIA training to bring down the World Trade Centre towers amid horrified yells from the public. At that moment someone in class stifled what sounded like a laugh. I looked at her in horror and wondered what the hell she was laughing at. I remained on edge until class ended.

But I didn't get angry at Moore. Moore comes across as sincere, because he gets out on screen to fight for his beliefs numerous times. One of my coursemates noticed that Moore tended to cut a lot and take things out of context. I can assure you that he does tailor and cut and move around scenes to make them powerful; one such example is interspersing the speech of a father who had lost his son to the Columbine killers with a speech defending the right to use guns. So he can look sincere, and look right, but does what he say really have it?

I can't answer that question, and after the film I knew that to find a truly satisfactory answer for myself would take me a very long time. So I'll just review some criticisms and parts of the movie instead of a whole.

Moore interviewed people from both sides of the argument; for some people such as Heston he pretends to be on their side in order to open a dialogue. Moore's critics have slammed these tactics. I think that it's alright for Moore to be dishonest about his intentions so that the subject content can be purer - if he were to approach them as the left-winger he was, his interviewees would certainly be a lot more careful with what they said. But we don't want some intricately carved excuse. We want raw naked opinion.

Moore's victory against K-mart might not have been as big as i seemed. The internet yielded many news articles concerning people who got angry at how K-mart stopped handgun ammo sales for a bunch of anti-gun lobbyists, but nothing from after Moore released Bowling for Columbine. Weird. Also, some talk about K-mart not keeping it's promise, and the fact that K-mart was losing greatly to Wal-mart anyway, who were by the way, released press statements assuring everyone that they would always be selling handgun ammo.

One thing my lecturer mentioned was the final interview with Charles Heston, where Moore corners the NRA president, and after the latter dodges a barrage of difficult questions, stalks off and cannot turn around when Moore confronts him with a picture of a girl that died in a shooting. I find it sad that Moore never mentioned that Heston was suffering was Alzhiemer's and prostate cancer. It's a major dent in an otherwise perfect ending.

There was a scene where a reporter was talking to a camera. His crew had just set up near the scene close to where the girl had been shot. The reporter held up a picture of the girl and said the usual concillary, television lines. Then the camera went off. The reporter huffed a sigh of relief, then began to talk about other things, like his hair. At first I thought it was just a sign of how callous people were, how people trivialised tragedy into news. But then I put myself in the reporter's position. I would probably have been saying the same things. I probably wouldn't want to talk about how a young girl, not even a teenager, was shot with a gun by a boy her own age.

Who would want to talk about that? We would rather make excuses to do something else. It's so damn simple to make excuses - whenever something terrible happens we either ignore it or want all the answers right away. We want to be able to blame someone right away, to have something solid, and when we can't we make excuses so we can. The NRA is strong in America - so what to do? Blame school, blame computer games, blame Marilyn Manson. Better play it safe and lock it all down, buy a gun too. The specific criticisms on Wikipedia accuse Moore of obscuring facts - not of screwing up his logic. Because he makes sense.

Bowling for Columbine is certainly excellent in terms of editing and presentation. It's a movie that'll probably make you laugh hard and perhaps even cry a bit. As to the subject matter, I cannot comment much. Michael Moore is so good at winning us over to his side that I don't trust the movie to put me in an impartial mindset. To Moore's credit, he advocates that you read up on it yourself. Make your own decision.

I am a Lian'beng

This is like the third time I'm telling you. The macbook isn't yours. It used to be. That's what I wanted to know, what you didn't feel like telling me, and what I know anyway. Would you like me to put that in simple English for you?
Tell you my real name? Sorry. I have standards.

don't try to intimidate me with your english and act like a european or american cuz that just makes you seem boastful,proud,arrogent, full of yourself and yea oh, a person in total self denial. since you were asking whether the macbook was mine in the first place, why didnt you just ask that clearly in the first msg? GOD i seriously wasted my energy. how can someone like you possible exist on earth. IT'S A TOTAL MISTAKE

All further contact from you will be deleted upon receipt.

OMG. I'M NOT GONNA WASTE MY TIME STOOPING TO SOME LIAN'BENG'S LEVEL AND YOUR FAILED ATTEMPT TO SOUND PROFOUND AND DEEP. NIGHT BASTARD.


Ugh. Scum.


Gotten into net-fights like these loads of times (comes with forum moderating), and most times my heart rate goes up. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's an exhilarating exercise, trying to balance emotion with intention. Sometimes the two are one and the same.

It's something I noticed. I need to lash out. Even if there's nothing really major (stay-up-at-night major) bothering me right now, fighting in some way or form for me is like an alcohol problem. I let myself go a bit crazy, and the next day I have a hangover - I feel sick to the stomach at everything I did the day before. I lose my appetite. But weeks, months, days later I'll be burning to do it all again.

Kind of like Vonterul, full of that bottled up bitterness at the earth and the sky. I should stop staying up nights to argue and do something else.



This just in:

yea sure whatever. better not let me see ya around in school. cuz im gonna find out who you are. wanna play games?im so there. better watch out man

She actually issued a threat to "Nose Dig Digger" with her real name. Smart, but I'm not interested anymore.

INDIE WILL NEVER BE LOW BROW

To think and to just fathom sometimes it just drives me nuts.

Coping with all the shitloads of chinese lessons and chinese homework is taking its toll on me. Its really fun looking at the time-tables of some of my friends who do not take chinese A's and thier time-table looks either really cool or effed up. Cos they end as early as 11 on one day a week.

I do once in a while remind myself of my short term goals... I think its about time I attempt to draw up some to do list in life like Panzerz's the other time.

What the hell does all these qualify for anyway.

On another note, I'm desperately trying to refind my form and fitness on the track and on the fitness corner recently. NAPFA has already begun and I'm not prepared for quite a few things. Basking in the glory of my past timings and past records isn't exactly going to help me get my gold this time round. Gold for 7 years in a row, and I'm desperate about not making it a silver this time.

HAPPY ATHEIST DAY!

"The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good." -Psalm 14:1