Drama Club (Plus concluding statements to Ego debate)

fine. you win this argument. congratulations on evading everything i threw at you. pop the champagne. pop the cherries. whatever. it still does not change the fact that my opinion of you has not changed. in fact, i really failed to get your inside joke with tofu, which you have posted in the form of the conversation excerpt. in fact, that was where i really thought you had the ego problems. so forgive me if i couldn't get your humor because i am so superficial and maybe because i do not take literature, history and may not be as good is SS as you. so go ahead. snub me now. show the whole world how you have successfully managed to pwn my ass in this argument. go on. i know you are tempted to. fuel your ego. maybe it will allow you to win Mikana. but really, she deserves better.

-Giant


Let me drop in a last few counters to Giant's end-off before I get to what I really want to type about in this post.


30.
Me evading everything you've thrown at me? That's pretty ironic, considering I've met everything you've put on the table head-on, complete with examples to push my point. You?

as for points 1,3,6-9,14, i really don't give a rat's ass about them. you want me to address them, then please, undress them first.
- These are your own words. And FYI, I'm on the offensive, you're routing out of the discussion. And I'm the evading one, eh?

We're all guilty of hypocrisy at some point or another, but the least we can do is to admit where we became assholes.


31.
So if my conversation with TOFU could support your accusation, why not explain how it displays my ego problems?

Two possibilities:
A. You're making up a faux point to save "your own half-boiled balls."
B. You have a valid point (but you don't bother to elaborate? Don't bother to bring it up earlier? Does that make sense to any of you?)


32.
I have no idea what's your SS mark.

33.
I hold to the opinion that History and Lit gives me better analytical skills, but does not necessarily put them above someone else who did not take History and Lit. Just wanted to make that clear.

34.
I'm bothering to snub you, and tell you to grow some balls, because I think you need them, and I think you deserve my honest opinion instead of a sugarcoated thumbs-up. The spite, I suspect, is coming mostly from your side. (Yes, mostly.)

35.
Mikana, what Mikana deserves, and my feelings toward Mikana are irrelevant to the argument. (But not to the second half of my post, heh)


36.
In a MSN conversation with Panzer yesterday:
Nosedigger (On sporadic wireless) says
The argument was never about winning
Nosedigger (On sporadic wireless) says
Not for me anyway

I also hold to this.


37.
And for the record, I "win" when you stop fuming like a child and take what I say seriously. That's my victory condition.

So I think you win, Giant, and I lose.


Now on to the Drama Club, and Mikana.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

This morning I woke up and went to school early. Saw Mikana hanging around. She was wearing that familiar black Drama shirt. That was funny. We'd already stepped down, what, in March? Yeah, March. So I wondered if there was Drama today. I wondered what Drama was doing right now.

Then I wondered about going back.


The Drama Club... was not fulfilling for me. It flopped. Nah, both of us flopped. We were both floppy. The whole club, was floppy. People didn't gel as a whole (or even resembling a whole). Most people who joined were either looking for me-time or slack-time. Even people who had a passion for Drama; they were self-centred and... fuck it, let me come right out and say it: they were stupid. We were spending more time playing idiotic games than doing anything related to drama. Without the teachers to go to bat for us we would have collapsed entirely.

But I think it held some importance in my life for a while. Dwindled, yes, generally bad times, yes, but... it was a part of me, or maybe I hoped it was, and now it's gone and I'm sorry things didn't turn out better. Here's to the memories of the Drama Club members. *sniff sniff*


Real names withheld.

Ms Z:
I expect one day I've write something longer in remembrance. What can I say? She tried to be there. Didn't say all the right things all the time, but shared our joys (or tried to) and caught us out on our shit. Maybe she deserved better.

Mrs J (formerly Ms Ib):
Surprisingly, can't think of so much. Maybe TOFU's opinion of her really struck a chord with me. But yeah, he jokes were kool, and she was there now and then.

YW (instructor): You're a noob. GTFO

HP (instructor): He was a nice guy. Got us through the Drama Production. How did we repay him? We replaced him so we could get our Silver for SYF. Ms Z implied he wasn't happy about it and felt betrayed. I feel sad, and I feel guilty.

Shar (instructor): She was hard. She was scary. She did business. She was effective, and she clicked. Sometimes I got mad at her for a snub, or a scolding, but I deserved them, and we owe SYF 2007's Silver Award to her. She didn't just build us back from the ground up (I remember she got SX to tape a bamboo pole to my back because I couldn't stand ramrod straight enough, and then she made me hold up a chair and say my lines) she wrote the fucking script. She was good.

Now on to the kids.

JJ: First began talking to her in Sec 2. She just out of the blue deduced who Mikana was and we began to joke. We would talk about the most insane crap. Whenever we were stuck together for some reason or another, we would bullshit, with her buddy giggling alongside. Sometimes we get serious. Mostly bullshit though. So much bullshit that after a while of flexing my imagination with her I'd get tired.
This year for Drama Camp I hung around with her. It was a refreshing change from sticking with the other guys. I actually enjoyed this year's camp thanks to her. Good times.

SZX: I remember when I first met this guy, we had enmity. Yeah, we were being branches of a tree, right, and I was busy watching Mikana got pissed when he kept bossing my branches around. I remember one exchange where we clashed over the number of push ups we could do. LOL. But he turned out to be friendly. We still see each other in a corridor and bump each other.

Colonel Eggs: Hah! This guy. From day one he was trying to be the Drama Club's little leader. Giving orders and the like, spewing out glib lines worthy of a Power Ranger. Ms Z exploded on him a few times. Annoying fag; ego the size of an asteroid. Heh. He was chasing Mikana for the first few years. Heard he asked to go steady with her, and got rejected. Was nice to her. One time both he and her were both doing an impromptu puppet show, and the Colonel "accidentally" let his puppet uh, "fall" on hers, to put it lightly. It was obvious what he meant, and it was gutsy. I loled. Nice one man. Was always hanging around the group of guys who were into card and handheld games, trying to fit in. Generally wasn't well liked, though he tried to be. After the Drama Production in 2006 HP organized a session where we gave each other private/anonymous apology or thank-you notes. Colonel Eggs had originally been in the Production, as the male lead of a play featuring a romance between his character and Mikana's. It got cut. He was relegated to a relatively minor backstage position. He got railed at. The only one who didn't get an apology or thank-you note. He cried, he really cried, and I felt really shitty for riding his ass so much. I even made a stupid comment because I thought he was faking at first. He wasn't. (Ms Z brought him out to talk him down).
He was rather violent, too. Kicked me a lot because I teased him about Mikana and his mental capabilities a lot.
I'll miss his dumb ass. Dumb, but a bad guy? No, Colonel Eggs is not a bad guy.


Andk:
In the Drama Production, things got heaty for me. An alumnus was supervising my ass and criticizing it like hell. It got to me. Not being able to confide in anyone about how I felt then also got to me. One time I almost walked out on show day. Another time, I shouted at Andk. I can't remember what, but it wasn't his fault, and he sent me an apology. I shouldn't have got it; I should have been note-less with Colonel Eggs. The another day he walked right past without recognizing me. He's changed. He hasn't come to Drama for more than a year.

Mikana:
God, she looked real ugly when she had her pigtails. After she ditched them she was real hot. Tried to surreptitiously take photos of her from Sec 3 to Sec 4. In fact yesterday I was scouring the blogs of old Drama members looking for her. Was on speaking terms. Not much else. But barring her physical appeal, she was a kind one. Always being damn nice to people. Connected well with the drama people. Was nice to Colonel Eggs when no one else would, waited for people she wasn't friends with. Whenever I had to sit next to her I'd get nervous. Once I tried to get out of it. Another time I bumped myself on the head in front of her. And dug my nose. She spoke Mandarin. We were on different worlds, in a different clique, same as many others.
Wasn't an attention seeker, that's for sure.
Sometimes Mikana was the reason I came to Drama. Sometimes it was just distracting.
Would I have wanted her to be my friend? Well, I don't know enough about her to decide, so I'd say no; might have messed me up the same way Geia messed me up.


HY:
Never seemed particularly smart or stupid, always chatting about Grandsazers and playing PSP, but he was a nice guy in the same way Mikana was a nice girl. Shame he ended up being G's best bud.

G:
Complete dumbass and faggot. Just like Colonel Eggs in his early days, except he didn't get better. He continued to laugh and crack idiotic shit while Colonel Eggs was tearing up. What a fag.

Rtrdarts:
Another senior. Friendly person. Remarkably liberal. Not much else.

Thimc:
Was an asshole to me and others, many times. However I suspect his life's quite shitty. Forgiven.

Prcption:
Senior. This guy was epic. Had the most talent. Drew much praise. On my old blog, I posted an entry about how Drama was separated into isolated cliques and people were getting neglected. Soon after I saw this guy making an effort to connect with the juniors and isolated people. He came back to Drama often in his O Level year even after he stepped down. He didn't do so well for his O Levels. I can't remember how well he did after that.
Funny guy. Voice did not break.

Ab: Took over Prcption as head fag. Logical choice. Was the only one headstrong enough. Showed people like me and Thimc pity and talked to us. Tried to get a real friendship with her, but found that you can't build much on a foundation of pity.

YJ: This guy was hiliarious, and so underrated. His deadpan was awesome. I heard he's doing well in studies; good for him.

XN: Gave me a swiss roll because she was concerned about me during Drama Production. Stupid, but yeah, I appreciated that.

Eliot, Jac, Sergeant(not Panzer the Sergeant), Mase, Rth and whoever else I forgot but still gave a damn about:
Sorry I'm not going to be around to give a damn about you any more. I'm serious.

A lot of the new kids I can't really connect with, particularly some new Sec 1s. But I did my best to connect, and I'm happy, at least, to say that I have people who recognize me across all levels plus the alumni. There was one guy who remembered that I had slept on his sleeping bag, which elicited a major scolding for me. I guess that isn't so bad. Some of them still recognize and wave to me.


So did I go back to Drama today? Turns out there wasn't any session today. Maybe Mikana felt nostalgic or something.

But would I have gone back?

In my final weeks and months in Drama, things got tiresome. It was stupider than ever. We weren't doing anything real. I would have ponned if not for NYAA. Oh wait, there was something else, wasn't there? Mikana. There, I said it: I grew out of Drama and began to go only for the chance to ogle Mikana. Drama lost the magic that might have only ever have existed in my head.

When I went back to Drama Camp this year, I was part of a group of seniors and people my age. We needed to put up a small skit. Call it ego, but they were just too unmotivated and dumb to do anything really artistic. I wanted to take things a step further. They just wanted to go with the usual toilet humour. They listened to my profound idea and didn't make an attempt to do much. Or they just didn't understand (think Mikana was one of 'em). It doesn't matter. They weren't wrong. It showed me Drama is my childhood, and will not evolve with me. As the years pass I'll be an alien.

It's not cool. But the year Mikana and JJ stop going back to Drama Camp is the year I stop. Got to move on when it stops being worth it. I remember them, though. See, swapping my webmaster position for a photographer role was worth it.

I owe my introduction into the playwriting world to Ms Z.