Giving a shit

I really envy religious people (this must be the 22nd time I'm saying this). To always have a big guy in the sky look out for you (or just believing that he is), it's not only reassuring, it gives one purpose - false purpose or not, it's still purpose. I'm backed up against the wall and there's no obvious discernible reason. My relationships with people remain fairly balanced, I'm not top-tier but not average in academics either, I'm finally studying something I chose, etc. etc.

I feel like I just don't care anymore. It is like I've lost faith in everyone and everything around me. Yesterday Zeph messaged me while I was playing Fallout 3 (like a drug addict), and I'm not sure I cared. This is frightening. I'm sleeping late again. Sliding down a slippery slope to apathy about everything. What if all I want to do, ever, is wander around in video game wastelands? Homework's been piling up, never mind if it's actually fairly interesting and relevant stuff, I've just ignored it. I know I can't do this to myself yet I'm letting it happen. Do I even care anymore? Will quitting video games help or will I just switch to a different drug?

Fuck it, no more Fallout 3 on weekdays, back to movies. Saccharine romantic comedies fuck yeah.