Ascension

Pilot interview wasn't as scary as I thought it would be...

Yes, I cleared it. Left with a medical check up to do before I'll be posted to Australia to train to become a fighter pilot. In other words, 1 check up closer to reach the training phase of the best job in the world. Well nobody said it was easy being a military aviator... The rocky 2 years of training I have ahead looks terrifying... The attrition rates are phenomenal and I only hope I can make it out alive.

On a side note, I'll be leaving for my Vietnam backpacking trip on the 4th of dec. I'll be attempting to conquer the Vietnamese landscape! This is going to be one hell of a journey.. By far the most adventurous I've ever attempted, and probably going to be one of the most epic thus far too.

Bon Voyage!

Tofu out

Steady the sights

The end of my A levels is now clearly plain in sight. With most of my papers done, the results is surely and definitely in the hands of the Almighty.

Setting off to Vietnam for my epic backpacking adventure on the 4th of Dec.

I'll be attempting to do in two weeks what the Americans tried but failed to do in over 10 years -Get from South Vietnam to North Vietnam.

The trip will be about 1700km and I intend to do quite a bit of culture tourism exchanges.

Will be back on the 19th.

And my Traffic Police Test will be on the 20th. Hopefully I'll pass the first time. :)

So those are my plans for the coming month ahead. Sure is going to be jam packed and busy.

And yes I'm enlisting on the 7th of Feb into the Commandos..

TOFU out. Hopefully will see you guys soon

they are not what you think they are

Something boldly different from my usual humdrums. I signed up, and joined NP's LEO Club for an activity, teaching children at a Methodist Home how to sew teddy bears for Christmas.

Truthfully, the steps were simple to the point of a practical joke, but teaching them to "needy, disadvantaged" children seemed like a Herculean task. After all, who knows how adept they are, physically and mentally?

Initial thoughts sitting in the Home's canteen: oh god, rowdy kids. mega trouble ahead.

So I got assigned a chubby kid, very insistent on doing things his way, and generally hyper-active. Kid lied about his name (all the boys did, strange huh), took the colored pens and started coloring the bear cut-out they were supposed to use as stencils to trace onto the cloth.

Patience and understanding prevailed, kid agrees to trace, and work begins, cutting, then sewing.

I speak from experience, that handling a needle is not easy, and I'm sure a random poll of say, 50 guys, would reveal that at best 10 of them know how to sew. This kid, probably a disadvantaged family, gamely took the needle, insisted he knows how to do it because his mom does it at home, and started sewing. Thats right, he sewed, very simple and messy lines, but still, he managed to stitch those 2 bear-shaped pieces of cloth together.

Now this kid, hyper-active and slightly socially-inadequate, took up a marker, and started decorating the bear, ending with "I ♥ MOM".

At the end of the 2-3hour event, I was done. I finished helping my charge make a teddy bear to give to his mom on Christmas. But no, that was not all. I helped him, and his other friends I happened to be seating next to, achieve something, express something.

Of course, it was certainly strange to hear them address us guys as "kor kor", but then, I realized that hey, could it be that these kids, like the ones I met in China, have no siblings? Its true, I don't know why, and I'm not allowed to ask, they are in the home. But it was satisfying, knowing that at the very least, I now know, that they are not weird. They are not "special". They are just children, like we all once were. And I think the biggest lesson I bring home today, is that it sure is nice to volunteer. Yes, I am going to do this again.

Returning to writing

I know I have never properly completed a single script, a full-length play. This time I'll do it. Why? Because this holiday was the not the gaming-day-after-day holiday of old; I did things this time. I did some things I'm not so happy with, but I did a few things that I am proud of, and even though everyone is moving faster and has their head starts, I feel like I'm in the race again.

I have to write and stage a play by July. I have already promised a few people, and some of these people I care about what they think of me. So yes, I'm losing my carefree childhood expanse. But I'd much less like losing some of the people I've gotten to know. There are stakes now and I can't drop out this time.

And besides, I'm starting to think having a crush might be healthy for me.

I'm thankful

I just chatted with some China secondary school students I meet while on my trip in March this year, and one of them was in their last year and had just graduated in June. To move on from secondary school (初中) to the next level of education (高中) in China, you need to do well in the final exam of secondary school.

The student I talked to didn't manage to progress. So I asked very simply, what are you going to do now? She just said, I don't know, I no longer feel like studying, are you disappointed/angry that I didn't make it? Of course I said no, but it got me thinking really really hard.

We keep complaining about our education system, about how competitive it is, and how hard it is to secure spots just to further our education.

Putting it in perspective now, I realized how lucky we are. Apart from a much smaller population, our abundance of schools and institutions allow us to keep studying even if it isn't what we want. After secondary school, if you can't go to Junior College, there are Polytechnics, and if not, there are still the ITEs.

In China, sure their population is exponentially larger than ours and they are still a developing country, but if you fail to further your education, it means you enter the workforce, and in the case of the student, at 16 years old.

I remember in 2008 when I was sitting for my O Levels to decide where I fill continue my education, there was a small debate on forums about how the government wasn't doing enough to give students equal opportunities to study in the JC/Poly course of their choice. Right now, all I can say is be glad that we are still studying, because no matter how tough it gets, working life is way harder than a student's life.

Even if you can't climb the ladder as high as you would like, be thankful a net is there to catch you in the end, and you can continue climbing again.

WORST.PAPER.EVER

all because I chose not to listen to people with lower GPAs. i'm such a prick. an elitist prick.

Have you settled your life plan?

So last night, taking a break from revision, this guy talks to me after like, 3821931493481 years. I must say I don't particularly like him, which could be an understatement. In every circle of friends and network of acquaintances, you always see people like him. Overly self-confident, minimal actual ability, talks too much, does too little, a general irritating prick.
To give you a rough summary, we were in the same secondary school, same CCA, and thankfully we're now in different polytechnics. This guy, Fas, a malay, apparently has "started" his own business, Just Diamonds by Defred, which uses Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) to expand its business. And his real motive in talking to me (second time so far), I believe, is to recruit me. And I know this because TOFU has likewise been approached, and tricked into visiting the Recruiting Headquarters.

Fas Sup

Fas How are your exams

Giant not started yet

Fas When is it?

Giant friday and next monday

Fas Nic

Fas Nice

Fas Mass Com?

Giant no

Giant shipping and business stuff

Giant so hows your business

Giant recruited anyone recently

Fas Doing great

Fas Recruited?

Fas What are yo u talking about?

Giant defred?

Giant multi-level marketing

Fas How sure ar eyou?

Giant pretty sure, from what i've heard, being used as an example in class, and news articles

Fas De Fred is in your school work?

Fas Nice

Giant no its not

Giant marketing and purchasing is

Fas Well, that's why we're going global bro

Fas 26 different countries

Fas in two to three months time

Giant and would it be presumptuous to say this is part of your pitch?

Giant to try and recruit people? i.e. me right now?

Fas Try?

Fas I never try

Fas I just do it

Fas Recruit doesn't sounds right

Fas Well, you got your own style of living

Fas to get rich

Fas Pretty much, your life plan is settled?

Giant well as they say, beg borrow or steal

Fas Cool story, bro

Giant you keep trying, but if you have the time, do read up on ponzi schemes

Giant ok?

Fas Dude

Fas Don't act smart

Fas I know what I'm doing

Giant its never wrong to err on the side of caution

Fas I'm just checking on how my captan is doing that's all

Fas Caution? That's why Singaporean enver succeed

Giant im not your captain

Fas Used to be

Giant i'm just that fat guy who sits there pretending to be useful during cca

Fas Still

Fas Captain

Giant anyway however you see it

Giant we are a free democracy

Giant come find me when i'm truly broke and bankrupt and desperate

Fas Haha

Fas Dude

Fas I'm nto interested

Fas Seriously

Fas Just catching up

Fas Don't think too far

Giant sure

Giant i'm just being singaporean

Giant and by that i mean being cautious

Fas I'm off

Fas See you

These head-in-the-clouds, get-rick-quick schemes never work, and are never sustainable. Just mention "Ponzi Scheme" and see how his tone changed for a bit. Seriously, wake up and don't get uppity with me, fool.

Growing Up 1

Indeed, nothing really compares... And there's so much more to think about now. No longer the raging hair on fire kind of take on the world persona. Guess I have to be a little bit more reserved and low profile now.

Guess that's part of growing up, and part of having a girlfriend.

Sometimes I do guess I enjoy singlehood and the attention I can give to all the different girls at once. But guess now it's time to grow up and put that behind me.

Well nothing lost though.

MIGRATION: being an owner

I'm currently writing this post using my phone so I'd guess by the end if this post I would probably have made up my mind about swype.
Basically, I'm just going to put some short notes about my first couple of weeks of usage.

1)if you thought from my previous post that my phone is now blazing fast, I'm sorry to (may) have mislead you, but then again I am holding the fastest android phone around. No complaints there.

2)battery life while improved, is still rather woeful. (I just remembered that the 3g I used to hold is 2 years old.) With all the hype of the super amoled being extremely energy saving, it isn't much better. But it lasts more than a day, 2 if I am careful. But from my past experiences, I got kind of sick of being careful with the iphone.

3) with regards to internet, the galaxy s is faster. HOWEVER, the two browsers work differently. The iphone likes to show you the page as if loads while the android likes to wait for the page to be almost done before showing you the whole page. Because of this, it sometimes may seem as if safari loads quicker. Is this intentional?...No contest in youtube though, the galaxy s wins.

4)With the iPhone being so damn ubiquitous in Singapore, if you want something good without making you look like an ignorant ass, this is the phone to get. To protect myself from this, lets make it clear I bought the iPhone 3g on the first month. Thats WAYY before people started hyping (and buying) the 3gs. Plus, with the crazy money Samsung puts in advertising nowadays, its not like no one will know what your phone is. However if you're the brand conscious type, Samsung is a bit..yeah..but still, getting an iPhone now will make you look idiotic. Getting the iPhone 4 NOW won't, but its only a matter of time...unfortunately. Maybe try HTC?

p.s. If you're thinking of blackberry cause all the cool kids have it, DON'T. The Blackberry is not for kids, it makes you look pretentious.

5) iPhone accessories are everywhere, which is good for the iPhone owner. Just trying to be "fair and balanced" here.


6)Do I like swype? for the most part a huge yes. But occasionally it does slew you down when you notice a wrong spelling after racing through a sentence. Did I just type 'slew'?
Damn.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.3.1

MIGRATION: journey from apple to android (an update on apps)

I decided to only make this post after I've decided how i felt about the phone after using it normally for a few days.

I installed kies, basically the Samsung program to sync you phone to your computer, again usless for me unless I had the music files on my pc in the first place. But its kind of a must to get updates. (its itunes all over again) Anyway, the new update, (note: its not android 2.2 Froyo, thats in september for the Galaxy S) basically tries to solve all problems relating to general efficiency, theres a samsung widget that helps you uninstall apks (android apps) and an easy to use task manager. I suspect it also helps you automatically kill apps when you back(as in the button) your way to the home screen. So that really helps solve all the gripes I had about lag and battery life. Great.

You must be thinking, I cant delete apps just by holding on the icon and pressing an "x" button? Nope sorry, theres no itunes so theres no app library you can sync to. I think deleting an app means you've got to re-install it from the market. But don't worry, downloading into your phone only takes seconds ;)

Another thing about apps, a paid app store isn't available in Singapore yet, just as how an itunes music store isn't. To get paid apps, you've got to torrent them and install using an "apk installer" app on the market place. Whats good is that unlike the iPhone, you don't have to do any jailbreaking shenanigans. Bad new is, some of them just don't work. I've got a gmaeboy and SNES emulator here and I'm still trying to find the right roms to get it working. But before you make any rash decision, as you'd expect,app content isn't as rich as itunes.(But the Android market isn't bad AT ALL)

MIGRATION: journey from apple to android (day 2)

I just realised how incoherent my first post looked, at least i'm not intending to be a journalist.

Anyway, before I start proper, I'd just want to say that the phone is still slow at times, I find myself having to kill apps frequently. I'm not so sure if this multitask issue applies to the iPhone, but from what I saw from the keynote, I think apple is handling it better. Still, android has 2.2 coming out, we'll see.

At the start of today, I set an agenda for myself.
This included:

1)syncing the address book properly
2)Get my music in the phone organized
3) solve that dumb facebook contacts thing.

The solutions: (note, I synced my iPhone with a macbook, the way Steve Jobs would have liked, if you're using a windows, i'd reckon it'll be easier than this :( )

1) It took awhile to find out how to get my contacts from address book, but its just a simple export in a vcard format to any folder, and importing to gmail from within gmail. I'd link you right here, but I kind of forgot the link.
Anyways, from gmail, it automatically syncs all contacts to your phone, thats great. What isn't great is that I imported contacts from both hotmail(same method but..in from hotmail) and I get a mass of email addresses and phone numbers in my contacts folder in gmail. God knows how much time i spent merging contacts.

I ended up deleting many contacts of people I'm kinda no longer in contact with, this included classmates or acquaintances I couldn't match faces to, ( I had 2 "chris" in there, I don't even remember knowing any chris.

2)I initially downloaded doubletwist on my windows, thinking I could finally not have to turn on my mac everytime I wanted to sync in this 1 song in my head. (keeps happening, damn you music bank) You could export your library from your mac itunes to your windows itunes, and have doubletwist sync from there BUT you must have the same song files in your windows computer. (tl;dr, this libray export only includes song info, artist info, album covers, playlists and the like) not horribly important but with so much downloaded music, (PIRATE)I really can't bear to see it in a mess (track 1 by !@#&* anybody?)
So I downloaded doubletwist into my mac and its working fine.

3) I can just choose to not show those contacts, though my OCD is telling me do do something about it. sigh.

In all, I've solved all my problems and tomorrow will be a brighter day. In case you think the iPhone is wayyy beter, think of ms office editing and pdfs, plus youtube looks a little nicer, I could be wrong though.

MIGRATION: journey from apple to android (day 0, 1)

I was reading many tech websites the day prior to my purchase of an android phone. And I found any semblance of a fair comparison between the iPhone 4 and any other phones in general end horribly in apple fanboyism, don't get me wrong apple makes good stuff that work but they're pretty nazi about everything else.
Or it'll end in the complete opposite. This party usually wins in usual David vs. Goliath fashion (apple is Goliath) but you cant compare things on paper right?

So I thought I'd try and help people out by trying to post regularly here on my journey from the iPhone 3G to the Samsung Galaxy S. Its probably going to end in a mess of jumbled thoughts, but if you find you're in the same situation as me, you'll understand what I'm saying :)

First thoughts:

The galaxy s is the iPhone with android. Thats a good thing. Makes migration easier, but it also makes you miss your old pal a little. The phone is very messy out of the box, same reason why people tell you not to buy HPs or DELLs, same Windows, very different computers.

At this point im missing the silent mode switch on the iPhone.

Build quality is what you pay for really, its plasticky, but I feel I can really thrash this (in a GOOD way) and not have to keep pampering it.
(you know glass cracks easily right? and its on the back of the iPhone 4 right?)

The super amoled is amazing, but the retina display is not far behind tbh.

More video formats usable, thats great, darn mp4 conversion was getting to me. Oh yes, format conversion is going to be a thing of the past.


First few hours:

YOU NEED APPS FOR EVERYTHING, I just downloaded an app to help me delete contacts, err kind of says alot. Its open source for a reason, im reminded of linux here. It shows that all problems can be fixed, but it shows that android still has problems. Which to me isn't a problem. Got a problem?

Widgets are smart, and Samsung chips in too, I'll find good use of them in daily use...eventually. The apps in the "application" menu are arranged alphabetically. Live backgrounds (err things moving) and complete freedom in the pages(places to put your icons/shortcuts,widgets) is welcome, but widgets take up a lot of space. I have my essentials down here and i'm at page 4/7.

This phone lags occasionally. Probably because always has many applications running, downside of its awesome multi-tasking. Got it covered, have an app that kills running apps.(OMG THE IRONY) +1 for android freedom. Then again, the iPhone lags too. I hope it wont get worse after syncing music and videos, expandable memory ftw.

Down to business:

Gmail is wayy better than iPhone mail app, period. Mail however, is not. Chances are, you'd want to use gmail.

Swype, voice commands. I've played with swype and it couldn't detect things like "temasek". Plus, if you toggled between foreign keyboards often in the iPhone, its a little more tricky here. Voice commands are excellent, it practically uses the phone for you.

Touch and go is a great function that lets you update status or message friends with a single input, i forgot if it can be saved as memos..

Contacts is a mess. Once i synced Facebook to social hub, ALL my Facebook contacts appear in my contact book. Hey Tofu, can i add phone numbers to these contact listings? I can see what they tried to do though, i can send these contacts emails and watch their status updates, pretty cool, but I've just realized how many people on Facebook I added I don't actually know. (not alot, but its my phone contact book!!!)

Maps is practically the same thing as the iPhone, but a little faster and has turn by turn voice navigation.

FM radio, nuff said.

Camera, settings and quality machaim digital camera siol. boleh.

Internet is faster, period.


Any regrets?:

A month before this I thought anything below the iPhone 4 would be a downgrade, not true. Android seems a little rough along the edges, because its new and open and all but I'm confident the experience will only get better, it has huge opportunity to grow, but the community has too.
Oh and I've found a well received program that is going to help me manage videos, music and even apps.

http://www.doubletwist.com/dt/Home/Index.dt

Its called double twist, and it resembles iTunes a little.


irony.

The 10 Common Fallacies In Reasoning

Avoiding Informal Fallacies

Informal fallacies are instances of murky reasoning that can cloud an argument and lead to unsound conclusions. Because they can crop up unintentionally in anyone's writing, and because advertisers and hucksters often use them intentionally to deceive, it is a good idea to learn to recognize the more common fallacies.

1. Post Hoc, Propter Hoc (After This, Therefore Because of This)

This fallacy involves mistaking sequence for cause. Just Because one event happens before another event doesn't mean the first even caused the second. The connection may be coincidental, or some unknown third even may have caused both of these events.

Example : For years I suffered from agonizing abdominal itching. Then I tried Smith's pills. Almost overnight my abdominal itching ceased. Smith's pills work wonders.

2. Hasty Generalization

Closely related to the post hoc fallacy is the hasty generalization, which refers to claims based on insufficient or unrepresentative data.

Example: The food stamp program supports mostly freeloaders. Let me tell you about my worthless neighbour.

3. False Analogy

Analogical arguments are tricky because they are, almost always significant differences between the two things being compared. If two things differ greatly, the analogy can mislead rather than clarify.

Example: You can't force a kid to become a musician any more than you can force a tulip to become a rose.

4. Either-or reasoning

This fallacy occurs when a complex, multisided issue is reduced to two positions without acknowledging the possibility of other alternatives.

Example: Either you are pro-choice on abortion or you are against the advancement of women in our culture.

5. Ad Hominem ("Against the Person")

When people can't find fault with an argument, they sometimes attack the arguer, substituting irrelevant assertions about that person's character for an analysis of the argument itself.

Example: Don't pay attention to Fulke's views on sexual harassment in the workplace. I just learned he subscribes to Playboy.

6. Appeals to False Authority and Bandwagon Appeals

These fallacies offer as support the fact that a famous person or "many people" already support it. Unless the supporters are themselves authorities in the field, their support is irrelevant.

Example: Buy Freeble oil because Joe Quarterback always uses it in his fleet of cars.

Example: How can abortion be wrong if millions of people support a woman's right to choose?

7. Non Sequitur ("It Does Not Follow")

This fallacy occurs when there is no evident connection between a claim and its reason. Sometimes a non sequitur can be repaired by filling in gaps in the reasoning; at other times, the reasoning is simply fallacious.

Example: I don't deserve a B for this course because I am a straight A student.

8. Circular Reasoning

This fallacy occurs when you state your claim and then usually after rewording it, you state it again as your reason.

Example: Marijuana is injurious to your health because it harms your body.

9. Red Herring

This fallacy refers to the practice of raising an unrelated or irrelevant point deliberately to throw an audience off track. Politicians often employ this fallacy when they field questions from the public or press.

Example: You raise a good question about my support for sending ground troops to Afghanistan. Let me tell you about my admiration for the bravery of our soldiers.

10. Slippery Slope

The slippery slope fallacy is based on the fear that one step in a direction we don't like inevitably leads to the next with no stopping place.

Example: We don't dare send weapons to these guerrillas. If we do, we will next send in military advisers, then a Special Forces battalion, and then large numbers of troops. Finally, we will be in all-out war.

--

Adapted from The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing by Ramage, Bean and Johnson

One of the more interesting GP exercises I was made to do of late.

We probably hear these fallacies all the time. Some of us can identify it when it is used on us. But for the majority we probably slip into the mushy good feel of a good speaker with flowery language and flowing words.

Anyhow, it is good to recognised these fallacies. Somehow I knowing this makes me feel like a more well-learned man.

Remember that social experiment with the crying kid?

I was at Lot 1 late at night, going to the bus stop to wait for my father to fetch me. There is this walkway on the side of the mall that I always see various Malays hanging out at. As the taxi stand came into view there was this little Malay boy, couldn't have been more than lower primary school age, couldn't have been more than 8 or 9, sobbing and yelling for his mama.

I got no further than 10 metres away from him before I stopped and looked back. 2 minutes I stood there at the taxi stand, maybe a cab driver or two peering curiously at me, while I thought about what we had talked about during our last meet at Rail Mall. Most people would walk on without a second thought.

Kept going to the bus stop, putting a driveway and a line of decorative shrubs between me and the boy. My father would be picking me up here. I still had plenty of time, though. I could go see what's wrong. Or maybe the child's parents were around, they were just punishing him or something. Peeked through a low point in the shrubbery and saw that none of the Malays were paying the boy any attention. Not the couple by the motorbike. Not the bunch of guys. Not the Chinese woman. A bunch of teenagers my age walked by me, dressed in teenager's clothes. The girl's height and pants were alarmingly short but her hair was long around her bare shoulders. Petite; long hair; pretty. I don't know why I cared.

What looked like a young Malay woman - long, loose hair - was now with the boy. There was also a little Malay girl even younger than he. Oh goody, I thought. The woman reached out to the boy. I saw his mouth contort and he slapped something from her hand. The woman picked up the little girl and left.

Time passed. I could ask my father what to do. Or maybe I would get in the car, close the door, and he would accelerate away even as I mumbled out the words. Maybe the little boy was the brother of one of the big Malay guys. Maybe they would challenge me if I walked up to them. Maybe this would make a good short film. I was just trying to bat away the question of what I should do, and I knew it. My backpack made my shoulders ache.

I could hear the boy screaming again. Screaming for his mother. Mall was closed. Should I bring him to the MRT station? Do they have staff there this late at night? Who the fuck leaves their kid alone in a Malay-infested walkway at 11pm anyway? And how would this make a good short film? Without warning, the lights along the walkway shut off. I could still see the crying boy, on the steps of Lot 1.

My father's Nissan pulled up. I got in but left the door open. What if a bus came up behind us? It took a minute, but my father finally understood my babbling and told me to find out if the boy knew where his house was. I put down my bag in the front seat, jogged around the shrubs -

The young Malay woman with the little girl was back again. I halted in the middle of the taxi driveway and watched her carry him up and walk away in the other direction. She glanced back briefly.

After a few moments thinking, I returned to my father's car and drove home.

another one for the cabinet

in sheer SA fashion, Saint Andrews' Junior College came from behind to clinch 1st runners up in the annual Raffles' Economics and Current Affairs Challenge. Really proud to have led this team in what may appear to be my last competition flying the school's flag. Over the past two years, I've played waterpolo, went for math competitions and participated in a host of current affairs challenges.

I must say clinching 1st runner up and coming so close to winning the championship is a sweet way to end my long (distinguished) service to the school. Winning an award for top 5 best individual made the icing on the cake. And it's just a sweet way to round up july.

Well guess my playing days are over, lets get back to the books and show those MOFOs all my As.

for country

Got a letter today summoning me to Hendon camp in Pasir Ris. The SAF is calling me for Vocational Assessment to become a commando. Can't really say I'm interested, but then again I wouldn't mind the higher allowance the commandos are offered.

Well the vocational assessment will be on the 2nd August. And my prelims will start at end august. I now see how everything is suddenly coming very quickly towards me. It's going to be prelims, A levels, and very soon I'll be enlisting (commandos or not).

The future is still there for me to grab and take hold. And there are so many things I still want to accomplish, including getting a commissioning as an officer into the Singapore Armed Forces.

Ok a mere distraction here. Let's get back to the books and work on those As.

Reville

Block Test 2 ends tomorrow and my has it been the biggest 2 weeks of my JC life so far.

So the countdown to A levels continue - 126 days.

Well I had another girl come up to me and told me I was charming in a good sort of way.
Not really sure if its a good thing.

But I also noted (and pointed out by several friends) that I was sometimes getting too close and snuggly with too many girls.

I blame it on my exodus from Stephy's life. But honestly that's not a real reason is it.

But well, that's not really important now.

Remember I said I will bounce back from BT1 failures? Guess I did just that in BT2. Of course the improvement is not ideal, but I'm pretty satisfied so far with my papers. Apart from physics.

But good stead indeed! And moving on closer to hitting form in couple of months time.

Sometimes I think I'm too much of a Type A, perfectionist person for my own good... haha who cares I love it this way.

How far we've come

I'm graduating from JC in 3 and a half months.

It's just really quick... And my A levels are in 4 months.

I know I don't have much time left...

Now everyday I go to school knowing it is my last term in school. The last time I will be standing at the track, singing the national anthem, last time in the CC singing the school hymm, last time standing and perspiring under the sun listening to scripture being read out.. It's these little things that you'll no doubt take for granted in school.

Now that it's coming to an end, I guess I'm somewhat relieved, somewhat sad. The thought of not doing any more of these childish high school stuff, doesn't really bother me, but maybe just made me ponder for a while:

that truly, time is the master of destiny.

Internet literature

Murphy's law: 99% of everything is shit.

Today: Found some 1%.

I had actually heard about the LP for Animal Crossing for some time, but had never bothered to read it, assuming that it was just another black parody of a children's game. I started on Part 1 just now and then read it all the way through. "Let's Plays" are usually just some guy snarking his way through a video game, sometimes you get good laugh material, but this... this is beyond parody. This is nightmare fuel. Well-written, riveting nightmare fuel based off a children's game about cute animals. Link below.

The Terrible Secret of Animal Crossing.


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Second story I found (a month or two ago) is a bit different. It's a trader-turned-scammer's account of how he did his first big scam in EVE Online. EVE's one of those mega-MMOs, so the virtual game money actually has some significant real-life value. The story's basically a crime action film, brought down to reality - I suppose that's why it got my heart pounding when the virtual spaceships start shooting. It's an alternately exciting and disgustingly fascinating look into the EVE metagame.

It's called Nightfreeze. It was written as some sort of memoir, but it's a bit cloudy as to how much of it's actually true. It's got some teeth-biting parts, but the ending's kind of lame. I'm actually toying around with writing a feature-length script for it someday (no srsly!).

Metagaming is the term we use to describe real-life actions that support virtual holdings and investments. For example, cutting the power to a guy's house so that your internet buddies can fly in with spaceships and blow up his expensive Titan. (that's an EVE Online ancedote, too!)

High School (Musical)

As I look around and realize just how wrong all this is, I'm glad I took the less wild path.

All the parties and stuff. Girls and guys got themselves horribly drunk and how did they end up in the hotel room?

Lets stop messing up our lives and concentrate on the A levels ahead ok?

Latin

I heard some programme on the BBC World Service Radio today about latin phrases.

The narrator identified how latin phrases were so commonly used as mottos around the world by institutions and organisations.

She pointed out a few and commented that making it latin makes it sound more profound, more impactful and make an otherwise cliche phrase sound majestic.

Take the motto of Tottenham Hotspur F.C. for example. Audere est Facere. Now that sounds really awesome. But what it really means is "To Dare is To Do". Something closer to Singapore, nothing without labour (Victoria School's motto) sounds kinda boring and cliche. But nil sine labore sounds like something you'd find on some nobleman's coat of arms. Well I've been experimenting with latin phrases for my email signatures and I finally settled on Semper Fidelis. Which means yours faithfully and it also happens to be the US Marines motto.

Not that I want to sound sophisticated or anything, but I do believe there is truth when the journalist who wrote that radio entry said that Latin phrases just brings out a lot more omph and meaning to an otherwise ordinary phrase. It shows a deeper truth and it some respect a warmer tone.

Hmm. Some real good food for thought.

Dreams - An old essay

Here's what I dug out over the weekend while cleaning out my desk, an essay I wrote back in Sec 4 (2008) that was nicely printed out. I read it and thought it to be one of my better ones, so I've decided to reproduce it here.

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Dreams

Dreams are an integral part of our daily life. When we sleep, our minds process our aspirations, our hopes, our experiences, and then them into dreams. Dreams are the fictional state of reality, where our unconsciousness takes over. The same can be said for reality, and the people in it. When attending boring seminars or meetings, we daydream, thinking of what we would do, what we would rather do, or where we would rather be. In the journey of life, we often dream to be better, dream to have better things, dream to be somewhere else, and dream to be someone else.

I have had many dreams. Once, I remember finding myself limbless, in another, had sprouted wings and was on my way to visit the Moon. Of course, we all know that such dreams are mere imaginations, and impossible. Yet, we all find ourselves dreaming unconsciously, and more often than not, uncontrollably.

Scientists, the very people we turn to shed light on the darkness and the unknown in this world we live in. Scientists, despite decades of existence, still have yet to turn out concrete results as to why we dream. Some say these dreams are the result of an active mind spewing out random ideas and memories while we sleep, and consequently, a dream is formed. Others allege that dreams are actually visions of the future, while to others dreams are their connections to the supernatural. Another common conception of dreams is that these dreams are the opposite of what is going to happen to our lives. Of course, we have no way of knowing who is right, and who is wrong.

While we have no idea as to what dreams are, dreams might not necessarily be detrimental to us. Dreams are goals, goals which we impose upon ourselves. A target, which we force ourselves to reach, and it is thought such determination of humans, that dreams are able to enter reality. It is thought such determination of humans, that dreams are able to enter reality. It is through the dreams of men such as Bill Gates, the Wright Brothers, and Nelson Mandela. It is because such men, who had a simple dream, and had the desire to carry it out, that made our world the world it is now.

Dreams have also affected our past, as well as our present. Soothsayers and oracles in ancient days would use drug-induced dreams to foretell the events which would dictate the course of history. This is apparent in Ancient Greece, where kings and generals frequently consulted their oracles in hopes that the gods would advice them well through the oracles' dreams.

Therefore, while we do not know the exact origins of dreams, we owe much of our lives to these strange and mysterious dreams of ours.

12 May 2008

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I also note that penciled at the top of the paper was "Draft", so what the final looked like I have no idea.

Yesterday

Someone asked me, what was the things I struggled most in life.

Without I gave him two things.

1. Being Excellent

2. Too reliant on the opinions of other people

Well life's been difficult lately. And it will continue to be. Can't wait for this to be over. Life has really been very very stressful, I cannot stress enough.

And btw, Goh Keng Swee passed away last Friday. He is one of the politicians in Singapore I have great admiration for. A multi-faceted man, he led the country on various fronts, serving as minister for finance, defence and education. and also helped boost the arts and cultural scene in Singapore by raising the Singapore Symphony Orchestra. His list of achievements go on. Respects to him. And hopefully the newer generation of Singaporeans will be able to rise up to be like this man.

Got into a little facebook tussle + rant

Pretty common for me to pick fights on the internet =(

Protip: don't fight on facebook. It can be nearly as bad as having sex with the other guy in public.

I don't really have anything against the YOG, honest. I don't have too much interest in the politics at the moment, because my own life is a sinking ship. But once in a while I can't resist playing devil's advocate. The perverseness of going against the flow... it gets me hard!

So anyway I don't know either of these people, or indeed many people at all on FB, so I decide what the hell I'll just go bomb something off the top of my head. I thought the miss Tan up was just making a throwaway comment like me, but nooooo, she starts naming names. Everybody in Singapore knows that one person is just a dangerous detractor, but two people is a mob and you should call the police so they can bring in the riot vans and tear gas.

Anyway yeah, small beans, wouldn't even call it mudslinging (though I probably sound harsh for a Singaporean). The surprise is when I realize that Estell IS ON MY FRIENDS LIST LOL WAT. I keep a fairly tight friends list and never add anyone I don't know, and I have never known anyone by this name. I check the profile, and it's my junior in Mass Communication. She changed her name to this weird thing.

*headslap* Of course. It's the goddamn internet.

I guess it looks like I've lost another of my precious few media contacts, not to mention one of links back to my old life in secondary school and the Drama Club. I shall strive to be less snide on Facebook. *sigh* Miss Tan there added me as a friend though, lol. She appears to be a 20+ politically-minded girl, judging from her profile. I was hoping she'd be younger, hehehe.

Rant time. Why are Singaporeans so adverse to passionate debate and argument? It gets on my tits how many people keep interjecting variations of "OMG I HAZ MY OWN OPINION OKEY" and "agree 2 disagree can???" Those phrases have nothing inherently wrong about them - when an argument persists as a stalemate, you can talk about common ground and difference of opinion to bring things back to earth. But it has been feeling to me for a very long time that too many Singaporeans spam these lines at the first sign of tension, throwing a blanket on the debate the moment things get interesting.

Singaporeans like us loooooove the status quo. It terrifies us that our opinions may be OMG WRONG, it terrifies us that because Person A has different values from Person B, a fight might break out OMG! Or they won't be friends anymore. No, we just want everyone to keep quiet except when they're agreeing with each other. After all, we wouldn't want a repeat of the racial riots from 1962 now would we?

We're so fucking pampered, not just in the material sense, but in the social sense. In May last year or the year before, a Singaporean teacher went to lecture at New York. There, she taught that homosexuality was bad, which made the liberals there flare up and start up a little campaign against her. Did she stand up for what she believed in? Fuck no. She turned tail and ran for home. I'm pro-gay marriage myself, but that's not the point. The point is that Singaporeans shit their pants at the first sign of conflict, they either run away spouting "BUT IT JUZ MAI OPINON", or they get really defensive (see LKY's lawsuits).

It's probably the reason Singaporeans venture little into the international stage beyond business. One of the few reasons I would not migrate west is because I'm pretty sure I'm mollycoddled too. Wouldn't fit in.

Security guard laments to me about life

The security guard was at the table just outside the lifts. I walked up and sat on the opposite end. She was Malay and obese.

"How do you buy that?" she asked suddenly, pointing a finger at the ice blended coffee I had set down. Apparently she wasn't so sure what the black pearls in it were called. The conversation turned into a rant about her job pretty quickly though, so I'm fairly sure she had wanted to talk about that all along.

She works pretty much fulltime. In a single day she has to stand around at different places, usually traffic control. She opened her notebook and indicated a bunch of organized scribbling. It all adds up a nine hours a day of standing. Not all at once, but I think it was mentioned that the breaks were short. It's hard on the legs. Right now she was taking an unsanctioned rest; the pain became a bit too much for her this time. She has to ration a medicine to keep on her feet.

I wasn't participating much in the conversation at this point. The woman obviously had a lot she wanted to get out. She was an immigrant, and she couldn't use her Johor work experience here (I think it had something to do with production lines). The paycheck is eaten up quickly - with products like clothes and shampoo priced for the middle-class, saving money is a challenge.

I honestly can't remember very much. I'm a pretty bad listener, but I didn't want to break her flow. It's a bit like a dream - I had long grown used to the convention that adults would only ever bother to talk to teenagers for work, or for dispensing advice. As a listening ear, even, but never the other way around. Most of what I know about my own parents' lifestyle at work is stuff I overhear.

As I said goodbye to the security guard, feeling some pity for her pretty shitty existence, I wondered why she had bothered to talk to me. I definitely don't have that kind, approachable face. Would she have said anything if it was in my twenties, thirties, or preteen years? Teenagerhood is a magic period of time where most people hover between childishness and adulthood. Perhaps it's a mix of the youth responsibility to listen to elders and the ability to understand things on an adult level. This could be a quality that teenagers could utilize for the betterment of society and all that, but sadly, due to widespread apathy and image of teenagers as immature suicidal nymphomaniacs, the generation gap stays, and woe betide anyone who tries to take that away form Singapore.

Anon, you're a real bro

Kicking around 4chan one day when I chanced upon someone putting up a torrent full of ebooks. And I mean like, 1 GB+ of mostly text. A lot of ebooks.

Some people predict that in a few decades, ISPs and corporations will clamp down on what sort of information flows through the internet, destroying our free little anarchy forever. Thankfully, that day isn't here yet.

Hundreds of books in here... 200+ alone are various survival type books, ranging from the general sort to ones specializing on plants, specific disasters like floods, woodland survival, disaster cookbooks. Also two handbooks from the SAS and the US Army.

Also some general cookbooks... blueprints for solar paneling... sleeping guide... sex guide... organic chem... general chem... how to train your dog to get beer from fridge.

"DIY folder" is a another juggernaut, full of one-word pdf files. Lots of household stuff, but its probably written for western architecture.

Don't know whether it's wise to say this (couldn't find a list of banned books for Singapore, typical of MDA to want the flexibility), but there are also many guides to growing certain substances. Stuff that can make you see stars, you get my drift? Yep, a lot of these. Considering deleting these after I finish seeding.

Even that might not be the worst of it. There's a CIA tome here on interrogation (the foreword advises against torture, though). How to construct hidey-holes. Driving techniques for escape and evasion. The most chilling one has to be the anarchist's cookbook. Cursory examination reveals that its not even a PRINTED book like the others - it's an underground compilation of things you can NEVER admit to knowing about in polite society, to put it lightly.

Needless to say, I'm going to be doing a lot of deleting.

Update: Anarchist's cookbook found to be mostly full of crap, lol.

Lean Times

The month of march has just been really horrible.

I've met with setbacks after setbacks in repeated succession.

Almost every area of my life received a blow and a spit in the face.

Triple whammy sounds like it...

Got.to.bounce.back.

Hello Term 6

Really not much to be happy about the past week or so...

BTs were one of the if not the worst exams of my life...

My team got thrashed by HC in our first fixture.

And I'm behind schedule with my tutorials.

And so the list goes on...

And compounding to the agony is a whole list of to dos...

Well can't complain I signed up for this shit...

Recess Week

This one week of study break has been proving fruitful (sure it will).

Been training like a mad dog with the season round the corner...

Have also been putting some of my mind power on the NUS chancellor's shield semi finals.

Guess sometimes I'm so caught up with the chase that I tend to forget the important things.

Like in this case, studying for my upcoming Block Tests..

To me, everything worth doing is worth doing well. And I hope this is reflected in my results, whatever I'm currently pursuing.

Recently I've been fretting over my pursuit of perfection. It's the season where being capable and perfect would make up for my shortcomings. But if that's not going to happen maybe I'll just have to pay up by other means.

Going to swing into over drive soon...

And lets hope we win a couple of medals here and there.

TOFU out

Movie Review: 4.30

The core details first. Local film, independent/low-budget, directed by Royston Tan. Running time 90+ minutes. Quiet Singaporean drama revolving around a boy and a very foreign Korean man's weird relationship in a very empty house.

Depending on how impatient you are regarding films, you might either be frustrated by the film's slow pacing or you might tolerate it. One of the first shots of the film is a long take featuring our lead character, a pre-teen Chinese Singaporean boy named Xiao Wu, scrabbling around in the dark looking for something in a guy's room in the dead of night. That's practically all that happens for what feels like minutes afterwards, and we don't learn anything about what he was doing before we finally get to the next shot, which begs the question of why they held the bloody shot for so long.

Long takes, slow cutting, and generally serene pacing are the signatures of this film (I'm told it's a departure from Royston Tan's usual style). I think it's probably an experiment on Royston's part, because there are plenty of points where I found my attention wandering for lack of something happening. Music is used sparingly and not too much diegetic sound, so an audience is many a time left twiddling their thumbs waiting. That said, there are also scenes that use the long take well; for instance, it is used to communicate effectively the trappings of a classroom scene and that agonizingly empty and slow lonely feeling. As long as you're invested in the characters of the movie, the slow pacing should be an overall plus to your appreciation of it.

There are only two "real" characters, they hardly interact with each other, don't even speak the same language, and yet, they both bring something to the situation. Xiao Wu provides humour, mischief, and innocence as a counterpoint to the sordid themes, as the child character often does, but at the same time he is at the centre of much of the pain in the movie, being abandoned by his mother to live with a stranger that doesn't even speak the same language. The "Korean uncle" Jung, unhappy and distant guardian, although he does very little guarding, is the vague and fuzzy dream that us and Xiao Wu are feeling around for. In a hazy, timeless landscape where Xiao Wu has virtually no one and nothing, we are tantalized with few but intimate little details about this man who is just in the next room, but just can't talk to.

The movie focuses on Xiao Wu's numerous attempts to reach him, and Jung's ambiguous reactions, despite all the differences between them. Most of these attempts to connect are disguised as pranks, courtesy - but since these are the only times Xiao Wu's life brushes another, they feel sincere, treasured. As I grew depressed about Xiao Wu's empty, empty existence, Jung also became my little fixation, as he was pretty much the only person either of us saw - extended, contemplative shots were now filled with a bit of longing to become somehow closer, to make some real contact, to get some real conversation. 4.30 was quiet and dark. It took a while, but it got me.

Some credit has to go the the acting, too. Xiao Li Yuan (the boy) and Young-jun Kim (the Korean) do fine jobs, finer still when you take into account how difficult long takes are, in getting everything right. Sound, voices, are conspicuous in their sparseness, which only helps add to the impact of certain scenes when they are present. Overall it's a minimalist approach that eschews the usual heated dialogue and overly snaky plot that is common in local productions. At no point do Jung or Xiao Wu talk plainly about how they feel, and yet you manage to understand their isolation, their desperation.

Some may think 4.30 is mostly just a lot of tedious shots and an overly long short film (and they would have ample reason), but I could stand to defend it as an artistic triumph, an example of Singaporean cinema that doesn't rely on the easy tricks (horror, hot actresses, guns, tired slapstick, name actors, etc.). Not a movie designed for casual audiences, but I'm glad Tan stuck with it and didn't try to shoehorn anything in.

Also of note: To enhance the awkward relations between Jung and Xiao Wu, director Royston Tan forbid them from talking to each other. The one time this rule was broken, Royston canceled the shoot. Nice to see he's learning enforced method acting.

most of the time, we take things for granted. and we always want something else other than what we don't have. but maybe life is just like this and the grass is always greener on the other side.

i mean school's really killing me but perhaps the feeling of progression fits me better than stagnation.

because we all like to progress

Of school and pride

Just thought I wanted to share some school mottos that I felt are really powerful stuff...

In no order,

The Best Is Yet To Be - Anglo-Chinese School

Nil Sine Labore (Nothing Without Labour) - Victoria School

Ora et Labora (Pray and Work) - Saint Joseph's Institution

Auspicium Melioris Aevi (Hope of A Better Age) - Raffles Institution

Up and On (Upward and Onward) - Saint Andrew's School

Naimatma Balheenien Labhya (Perfection Cannot Be Acheived By The Weak) - Modern School Delhi

I really like all these mottos as I think they all epitomize the strive and desire for excellence.

Of worth mention is the Victoria School's motto. "Nothing Without Labour" really is something I hope to live by.

In fact I think all these mottos are pretty good principles.

Here's to good mottos.

derp derp

I just heard that one of the teachers who accompanied us to India was fired last June for slapping a student. Guess who, hurr hurr.

registar

Last night, I turned in my personal particulars, family particulars, bank account numbers, and a whole list of everything the army needs for my enlistment. I had to chose the initials I wanted on my nametag, the sizes of my attire and a whole list of interests and whatnot.

I guess it's becoming increasingly apparent that the day to my manhood (kinda) is drawing closer. I've booked my appointment for my pre-NS check up. Guess it won't be long before I'll be entering. Kinda scary, because I do realise that once I get in, I'll have a whole lot more personal and social responsibilities to live up to.

Time really passes fast...

Guess the army is coming, real soon, to make a man out of me.

Poly, tougher than JC since 1954

So there is a facebook group and a bunch of stalwarts out there who think they got it tough in poly.

Ignorant brats. They should just go home and suck thumb.

There's a reason why we take 95% of all scholarships.

Dictorgraphic Demographics

Well if you don't already know by now, Barack Obama is the first black US President in history. Surprise to many I must say. With his oratorical prowess, many attribute his victory at the polls due to his strong ability to communicate and link the hearts of the people with his ideas.

Is it really a surprise then that probably the most racist country in the world has finally elected a black president? Well not so. 40 or so years ago, when Martin Luther King Jr's 'Let Freedom Reign' speech was delivered, many would have said of civil rights and racial equality being put in the right direction. Well racial equality was destined for the American land.

According to a BBC report in 2010, 70% of Americans over the age of 65 are white. And well, over 55% of Americans today under 5 are not white. This represents a huge shift in American demographics. (Which I guess kinda explains the sudden influx of crappy black musicians in the 21st century.) Music aside, this is an important note. Because the America we know in 30 years time will be different from the America we knew in the 90s.

I guess things are not that lopsided for the moment. For most Americans living in poverty (or extreme poverty) are not whites. This leaves power and influence still squarely settled on the shoulders of the white man.

Who knows what this will bring to this new world. Only time will tell.

This Road is a Bloody Trail

I just witnessed a car accident.

Today, 30th Jan 2010, approx 1320pm, at the Shell Station bus-stop near NP, as I was chatting with 2 classmates of mine, we head a loud Bang.

Its a Saturday, yet traffic was strangely heavy today. There we were, at the bus-stop, and I spotted 2 Secondary School girls from YI, crossing the road. Indeed, they were jay-walking, but so have 4 of us PForters on that very same stretch of road.

Alas, I didn't see the whole thing. But what I saw was substantial. I saw the white Mercedes Limo-cab brake hard; and I saw her legs in the air. She flew, and she landed hard. When traffic cleared a little, I saw a small group of people, cab-driver included, crowding around her. A Caucasian woman popped her head up with the student's bag, and checked her pulse. A bottle of water was passed around till it reached the Caucasian woman, and she used to it clean off some blood. I wasn't able to really see, but I did see her bloodied face and arms. She was alive, and the police and eventually the ambulance came, and then off they went.

I thank my lucky stars I'm alive to type this, because I too came close to being run-over by a car while jaywalking last Wednesday night. Had I been rooted to that spot for a second more, the consequences unthinkable.

Indeed, she was lucky to survive, and I too hope she survives. Still, I cannot imagine the pain a parent would feel to know that all their sacrifice and investment has come to an abrupt end when their child dies.

smell then reach out

I just filled up my pilot application form a few minutes ago.

Well, what I want to see down the line, is MinDef calling me up, I go for their checks, and I get in before I take my A level examinations. Of course that's ideal, and the chances of this happening is not 100%.

Well, hopefully I'll be shipped into enlistment in January 2011 and continue that charge from there.

I just checked up my CCA and extracurricular records and I must say it is particularly dazzling. And all that I'm searching for now is the straight As to finish up the cherry on the bowl of cream I've been preparing for the past year or so.

So now, study hard, really I have to. Straight As aren't easy, but reach out and touch the sky; when in the end I make it, I'll look back and think I laboured not in vain. And I will reap the fruits of my labour.

I am closer than I have ever been.

I am here for a higher purpose

College and the world

Today I attended a lecture on genetics composition in NTU. It was part of my friend's module in her biomedical sciences degree and I decided to just take a look since I was free today. I sat in like a drop in the deep blue sea.

And shit, as I sat there, I realised all of a sudden with so much overwhelming conviction that I got to study hard if not I'll end up doing something that sucks and something I don't want for my degree...