Douchefaggery

If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [Gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything!
Rick Santorum (Sen. R-PA)

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I've a feeling I'm going to take a long time to type this blog post again. Last nights' was two hours, pacing around, putting my back into it. Didn't sleep till 3. I'm still staying up late. Nighttime used to be really scary for me. It still is, but only when I go to sleep. Why is that? Most of my waking hours are spent on the computer, which is perpetually connected to the internet. See where I'm going? That may be one of the reasons I can't sleep in my bed. When I'm that physically comfortable, I wander casually into fantasizing about the good stuff. Then, automatically, I kind of start examining on a realer level. That's pretty scary, actually, when you don't have an omnipresent, omniloving diety to give you hugs. I wonder if it'd be worth it to go into a religious place of worship again, not to gather info, but to experience the belief, if only for a fleeting moment, that someone always has your back, no matter what.

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I was also scared into delaying the development of Bridge. I'm only up to second draft now - snail speed, considering my resources (two weeeks, now extended to January). I'd always thought it'd be nice to write full-time. Think about it: holing yourself up in your house for weeks on end. That has to have some cost.

Anyway, I garnered three valuable responses from people who could give me detailed feedback on second draft. I figure they can best describe the major flaws of Bridge, and the sooner I find those flaws the sooner I burn them. It's just that it's difficult to hole myself up and still be happy enough to even attempt writing. So sometime next week I'll release drafts to randoms on my MSN contact list (who have shitty literary experience, pfeh).

Speaking of that, don't bother with Star Wars: The Clone Wars, the movie, OR the tv series. I watched the premiere of one episode today and I couldn't finish. No skill, no charm, no humour, no polish, no ingenuity, no intelligence, let's not even start on awesome and heartwarming; it's at the other end of the spectrum. In fact I actually got offended by its piss poor portrayal of war, politics and especially soldiers. Karen Traviss either sold her soul to the devil or managed a Jesus-level miracle when she offered to write books based on the series. And it claims to be PG13. Whoever said that should be shot. In the head. With a rifle.

"Nice cock, sir."

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After this point I risk losing my readers if I go on (nothing really that engaging to talk about), but at night I think about my past and sometimes I remember them, and every second I don't record an event, or idea, or decision, I risk losing it forever (I'm THAT forgetful).

Polytechnic. Ngee Ann Polytechnic finally sent a letter that confirmed my successful DPA application a second time, and an indemnity form for a preparatory programme. I'll be able to do some modules ahead of schedule, some interdisciplinary ones. It's from 14 Jan to 13 March (though it doubt it's very intensive). Field trips, industry visits (if I get to the guy who manages Okto/Kids Central I will bring extra ammo), orientation programma, CCA visits (None of them look very inviting tbh), and an overseas leadership camp. Very cute.

I've been wondering about poly life and what to expect. Don't really know actually. I don't want to dig through retarded, jaundiced, superficial blogposts to find out, so I set goals instead. I want friends. This time, I want the type that sticks. Because if I don't get friends and set up a network of local contacts now... I suspect I never will.

You know, before I even clarified my stand on sexual rights to myself, I've been... joking about sexual deviancy since primary school. Not serious. Just a game. No consequences. Still, sometimes, when someone I've implied something particularly deviant to grimaces in response, I mull over how serious they are.

If anyone asks at the polytechnic, I'm bi-romantic. People will read it as homo, gay, bisexual, anal sex - exactly. It's a filter. A people filter. I thought about coming out as bisexual instead, but that'd be a lie. This isn't. And I'll make sure that no one is going to mistake it for a joke.


Oh, and I'm interested in taking up parkour as a hobby someday.