Big Fat Fear

I suddenly have this very strong sense of fear of not accomplishing what I want for this examinations. No one likes failure. But fear of failure from my part is tearing my apart. With the first week gone like that, I'm seriously very skeptical of my chances to take flight to wherever I want to go.

A friend once told me, we must do the examinations well, not because we want to enter somewhere or some course very badly, but because we want to be able to choose. I can't deny, having that choice eases everyone a teeny weeny little bit.

I'm getting damn scared. Though the examinations are still in the midst and I should really be concentrating on my examinations effort now, I still can't push away that fear that hangs like a noose around my neck. Screw it. Someone once told me, 'regrets are addictive'. I don't want to outlive this sense of guilt and regret. This examination is affecting me more than I think it would, and much more than I imagine it would affect me.

Results day next year : screw it. And if I don't make it. Think of all the people I have let down in the process. Screw this shit.

Tofu : Word out