19 August

I bought some Red Bull too, but hopefully I can set aside some time to sleep early.


So... I lost my handphone about two weeks back. Stupid thing, but luckily my new modem came with a free phone so a replacement was immediately available.

Miss my old phone to some extent. It was simple, agrarian, minimalist, practical. Didn't need an extra camera, music player, or a colourful interface. But too bad. Now I have them. I get to set a wallpaper. A photo of Mikana was the logical choice, inspired by how TOFU used to have Stephy as his wallpaper. Nothing really good was in my folders, despite that I've surreptitiously grabbed a few shots of her myself. In the end, I got my wallpaper from her class blog.

Not altogether unexpectedly, a few people began popping eyes at the revelation of Mikana's identity (someone thought it TOFU was Mikana), although quite an armful have known since Sec 3 and it became an open secret last year; why hide it?

Keep in mind that this is not the "why hide it?" of a couple trying half-heartedly to keep their relationship under wraps. I'm not proud of my superficial side but there it is. In yowwingly frank terms, Mikana is physically the most beautiful and attractive girl I know of, and that's it. (Well actually there's a bit more, but that's just a bit of symbolism that'd bore you.)

Now this is the kind of luv I'm interested in

So! All yew fine dandies, so proud, so cock-sure, I'll have you know that as long as my reputation stays within "fucked up but definitely not sexist", I'm cool. In any case, being nonchalant about something dirty that people have just found in your pants really takes the excitement out of stuff. Just not fun exposing someone who's already exposed. Like uncensoring the feet of actors in a porn film. Where the fuck do I get these horrible analogies?

Someday Mikana will be gone forever - same with everything else - and I'll miss her. That's true. I'll keep the photos. I might even remember her. But don't think for a moment that I'll pick having any kind of friendly relationship with Mikana(or anyone I'm attracted to over physical attribute) over being with people that I really want to talk to. Or a particularly satisfying TF2 session. Or sex. But TOFU says that's overrated.

Heterosexual sex, anyway.

*wink*

Awaiting judgement on whether I've managed to make an emo post worth reading.