I just realised today my old blog has vanished completely from the web that is called the internet. I used to blog on a platform known as the 'Windows Live Spaces' and after they made a conversion to WordPress, my blog got erased as well(?) Not sure if it's really gone for good but at least I can't recover it.
For one, I'm pretty sad. I have almost 2 years of archives inside my personal blog (which was locked for the past 2 years btw) dating from 06. The best and worst times of my secondary school life was chronicled as transparently as I could in there. And to have it gone now, never going to be able to re-read and 're-live' those times kinda makes me sad.
I believe there were many things inside which I chronicled that could be useful to me now. In fact, that was one of the main reasons I started the personal blog in the first place. I wanted an avenue for me to reflect and learn from my past. Kind of like writing my own history book. And to have it yanked from me like that is kinda hard to swallow to be honest.
Recently I've been struggling with certain cobwebs in my life. It involves a former lover, and I know I really shouldn't be entertaining such thoughts now that I'm attached, but I just can't let the case close without officially bringing it to an end (sounds real puzzling, believe me I'm quite confused right as I got to writing this part). The premature and abrupt full stop happened almost a year ago now. Still feel a proper conclusion is lacking and I really want to bury the port holes so I can carry on and live my life.
I sound real angst right now and that probably is because I am; here and now at this very moment - it's 0245 and I'm still friggin tossing and turning trying to sort out these old cobwebs in my head.
Forgive me if the beginning and ending of this post sounds incoherent. It actually links. But then again, such is the frame of my mind right now.
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