During all my time idly surfing across the internet, I've come across many stories: real world marriages sparking over craigslist, a guy on 4chan abusing a cat and posting pictures before having the cops called on him; the thief of an Xbox 360 being tracked down and forced to return the console, a virtual mob acquiring 16500 USD through an elaborate scam within the boundaries of an MMO... you see, the thing about many internet events is that it's often not that difficult to participate in the action, to actually be there and have some sort of small influence on the outcome.

Someone on my home forums (Gunzfactor) posted a thread a few days ago announcing his intention to commit suicide. He gave a date, and a short letter he was going to leave. The details in the note checked out when I did some research; I also found that he had weight difficulties and recently got busted for doing drugs. He's 17, and lives in Texas.

I think the reason why so many people in Singapore (from looking at my generation) rarely connect with outsiders is that the outside world has never been properly defined to them. It's always a vague fairytale; when people refer to them it's always in the context of tourism or basic history. Not to mention that too many of us have never had a proper conversation with a "real" foreigner that isn't trying to assimilate into our society. People don't feel real on the net.

According to the rough date and time he's given, the letter will be in his pocket for the last time on Monday morning/early afternoon SGT. It looks likely that he's not joking about being really depressed - what's uncertain is whether he has the will to carry out the final act. He COULD just be high, but yesterday he posted a second time, with the same intentions saying he "just wants out".

Sure, a couple of people on my forums have talked about really depressing things before. Falling in love with cousins, drunk father leaving the family stranded on a highway and driving off, etc. They've considered suicide out loud. But this guy says he's decided. He's given a date.

I noticed the thread on Friday afternoon, and alerted my fellow staff members at Gunzfactor. A debate on the appropriate way to help, and whether to help at all sprung up. It's at times like these when your mind gets forcibly expanded; suicide is nowhere near as black-and-white in the west as it is in Singapore.

We can't violate our privacy policy by giving his IP address away for the cops to trace. We're not even sure who to report this to. There aren't a whole lot of guidelines out there, despite that millions use the internet to vent their frustrations. Worst of all, the site owner hasn't checked in, so we're limited in what we can do.

The thread where the guy announced his suicide are 4 pages full of replies. Half of them ridicule him and egg him on; one of them sent him a nasty private message, then became afraid and asked the moderators to delete it somehow. We couldn't.

Remember what I said in the beginning about easy participation? I'm not just a guy halfway around the world any more. The internet places me seconds between me and him, me and the Texas police. If he dies, and I could have influenced the outcome somehow, I am partially responsible, no matter what our ignorant, backwards Singaporean morality says.

And even then I don't really feel urgency in me. Is it alright if I ignore a dangerously depressed person as long as I don't look him in the eye and don't know him? What do I do, dammit?