Post-24h

Not only do I feel tired and confused, I also feel lonely. Strange that this has to happen after the competition has ended. Maybe I bottled it up and its trickling out now.

I tried to sleep when I got back. I couldn't do it for very long, before my head began to spin and spin. I'm not going to attempt any homework today.

Sometimes I miss Mikana. Then I realize that I still see her every week day. I miss the pretense. I miss my Drama days when I could just basically waste my afternoons trading shitty jokes with my juniors and ogling Mikana, waiting for when she had a 'wardrobe malfunction'. Then there was the pretense. The pretense that this could go on indefinitely, that maybe I had a chance with Mikana (although my sensible half has always frowned upon this). Yeah, I liked to play pretend. I've run these fantasies through my head so many times that when I boot one of them up now I'll probably feel exhausted. It gives me fatigue, imagining this stuff, but I don't get 'tired' of it.

It sucks when your best moments in life never happened. If I do well for my O Levels and get into FSV... and overcome Peak Oil... godammit, Peak Oil.

http://www.lifeaftertheoilcrash.net/