Procrastination's retardation effect

Retardation in the sense of deceleration, and sheer stupidity.

So, last Thursday I said to myself, over the weekend and Youth Day I'll do these things:

1. Finish homework
2. Work on Lit Debate
3. Study for Chem
4. Do F&N Coursework B
5. Finish all of the above before Monday, so I can slack.

What I forgot was that homework consisted of:
Two SS essays
Fuckload of maths
And stuff I can't even remember.


Friday:
Came back from school and TF2'd the whole afternoon. Very gratifying.

Saturday:
NYAA Ceremony - Well I'll meet up with my Lit group on Sunday... or something...
TF2 TF2 TF2 gunzfactor gunzfactor TF2 Battlestar Galactica PORN TF2
Nighttime - did 2 SS essays.

Sunday:
Ten percent of my maths homework later, I said, "Fuck it" and TF2!
TF2
Stare blankly at Coursework for a grand total of 10 minutes... then Youtube. For TF2 videos.
My Lit group members start a convo over MSN - "hey we're doin the lit now" "ok update me" "lol u doin maths? busy??" "no" "are u lonely?" "no" "damn i was trying to seduce you"
I THINK about studying Chemistry, and finally have the guts to kick up a chair, push up my spectacles, unplug my headphones, plug in the speakers and BE A FUCKING PRO SPY ON TF2!!!111111
Read the Lit Debate materials and got some ideas. Seeing as they were fresh in my mind, I thought it wise to go to sleep and forget the hell about them.

Monday:
PORN PORN PORN PORN *doorbell* it's Panzer and TOFU. I hit the monitor with my cock and down goes the pr0n. o hai guys wat up
We manage to alternate between working and talking about crap. For a couple of hours. My coursework B advances 15 words and WELL WOULD YOU HAVE RESISTED TF2???!?!?!
I take a break... Coursework B... okay... right after I watch another episode of Battlestar Galactica.
TF2!!1
Pebble Fort up and running.
Panzer and TOFU leave. That means... you guessed it... my porn from the morning! I missed you!
*views uncut scene where Sharon Valerii is raped in BSG*
I ask a classmate what are the topics for Chem MYE
*replays rape scene five more times, then frame-by-frame*
TF2! No, enough of that... what are the topics for Chem MYE again?
It's 10 o clock. Well I'm majorly fucked. I guess this means some consolation TF2 is in order.

Tuesday:
Chem MYE day, but not before surprise history SBQ test jumps me. Oh shit. Well I won't fail... I think....
Chem MYE itself. Surprisingly, I knew most of the answers. No revision was done prior.
F&N teacher asks, "Do you want to do your Coursework now? I have the lab open..."
No thanks, I think I'll just ... TF2...

Wednesday:
Woke up at 4.
Porn till 5, then Coursework, for real, until 6.
I sleep in the car.
Sleep before flag-raising...
Sleep during listening comprehension...
*wakes up for English lesson... *Teacher isn't around, but Mikana is.
F&N Coursework "How much have you done?" "errrrrr I've done some stuff..."
Someone notices my bloodshot eyes. Wait, I've been staring at Mikana with bloodshot eyes?!
"No, you can't drop out of the lit debate."
English MYE - I sense an epic fail on the way.
My lit group and lit teachers spam jokes. I don't join in because I feel like living death.
Then I have to fucking analyze everything for them.
Go home.


TF2? Fuck man, even retards learn their lesson. Coffee for the last 4 days mang.