Childhood 1

I had a rather terrible experience last Saturday, when I got steamrollered by real pros in a debate competition, but that's a story for another time. Instead, today I feel like talking about our television.


Mediacorp used to be good for me. (Or should I say TCS? Whatever) Let me try and remember a few memorable TV shows I watched:

Advertisment spam: before some channels began to air, there would be endless ads. I found the adspam fascinating. Lawnmowers and shit.

Pokemon: before it got old. Too much of a good thing, seriously. GTFO Pikachu, get some character development already.

Digimon: In my opinion the only good one was the first one, maybe the second one too. Mikana was playing the theme song at Drama Camp, and damn did it bring back memories. This show used to be epic - I can't remember if they ever solved that mystery of the phone booths on the beach spewing nothing but gibberish.

NASCAR racers: You can't go wrong with cars that literally rocket all over the track and fly around in a racetrack, which is in a motherfucking SPHERE.

Can't remember the name: There was one dystopian sci-fi animation that was memorable. I vividly remember a moment where the hero was flying a plane towards an enemy ship, and his buddy called over the comms "You're out of missiles! Where're you going to get missiles?" "The plane IS the missile!" Epic, at least back then it was.

Another show which I can't remember the name of: Featured transformer-type robots working as rescue ops. Definitely better than the usual "we're in a war, fight the big enemy" thing. Had continuity and extended plot.

We are REM: This wasn't THAT good, but the scenarios had me thinking, and caught many villian stereotypes I'd been harbouring. The new REM just fails with their ultra-sexy girls and trying-too-hard-to-look-smart detectives.

Kim Possible: Simply for Ron Stoppable and Rufus. Nothing else matters.

As Told By Ginger: It was only mildly interesting, until this simple cartoon began to delve into serious issues and actually gave the adults (read: everyone) real character. It was too bad I didn't have the mental capacity to comprehend it fully at the time. I'm actually torrenting this now, this show has won Emmys.

Kids United: For a few choice episodes, including one where this guy just goes and stands up to a girl he had been liking, but rebukes her for stealing anyway (she had stolen a novel for him).

Team Fortress 2: Wait, nevermind.

The few eps I watched of Samurai Jack were very cool.

Beyblade: In retrospect it sucks, but it was fux pro to see people playing their battle tops like a RTS game.

Samurai X: Smart fight scenes hooked me.

Rugrats: Because it's fun as hell.

Yu-gi-oh: YOU TRIGGERED MY MOTHERFUCKING TRAP CARD!

Bubu Chacha: Strangely cockwarming.

There are more, but I think this is a good time to stop and look at WHY I've stopped watching Kids Central.

WinX Club: Blatant Harry Potter ripoff, except with over 9000 more stereotypes. Those girls are pencil-thin in everything from body shape to character depth. My middle-aged father could probably do a better job at the voice acting than the main characters. The script stinks more than a wet cock. I'd rather watch teletubbies.

If we look at the Tomato Twins, Ying Yang Yo, Ubin Boy, Strawberry Shitcake, and most of what they air on not just Kids Central, but even Channel 5, it's not hard to pick porn over it all. Singaporean television is deteoriating. Writers are grabbing an overused trope or premise, twisting and lampshading it slightly, then selling the show as something new and original. And our young, impressionable viewers are gobbling it up and learning that THIS is the standard of Singaporean television. And I'm still seeing those fucking stereotypes.

Go back to your holes, writer wannabes. When I come out I'm going to PWN YOUR ASS. Singapore SHOULD NOT be proud of the Tomato Twins. FUCK OFF MY SCREEN